The rambling of a writer

Smut and human anatomy

Warning:
This chapter is obviously adult themed. 
And I'm all for educating yourself, but be aware these kind of topics aren't for the feint heart:S

"His hand glided down towards my vagina to play with it while his hand pulled down his slacks to reveal his big buldge screaming desire at me."

" 'Is it your first time?' he asked. She nodded when he pushed past in one smooth go which made her see stars. The pain was momentairily and within a minute she begged him to go harder."

"He lubed up his finger to press against his rim. 'So ready for me, hm boy?' he smirked at him. He wasn't expecting to get railed by this man after they had a pleasant dinner."


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I have a degree in sex education and teach students about it every year...
And I always tell them how many misconceptions there are about sex in general. Cause there's a lot...


I mean, see the first scenario... "play with a vagina?" 
Almost 80% of adults don't even know the vagina is THE INSIDE part and the outside is called the VULVA! Basic anatomy...


And that big buldge? Pffff, half of the time men are perfectly capable hiding their boners, so a 'prominent' buldge is only there when they didn't tuck in their member correctly...


The first time scenarios..... OMG.... 
Losing virginity often means that a girl can rapture her hymen. This is a small rib of tissue at the beginning of the inside of the vagina and depending on activities, genes and more, this rib can be big or small and easily or not 'break' at all.
And when something does rips... it hurts! 
So why in the name of give-them-a-name do all these protagonist go nuts right after their freaking hymen tears?! With pleasure?! PLEASURE?! How can someone immeditely ENJOY beeing rammed into AFTER THEIR FREAKING LOWER BODY STARTS BLEEDING?
Ask around! EVERY girl whose hymen raptured with their first time ONLY ENJOYED the sex after a few following up times! And the ones not experiencing pain? Well, they'll all tell you their first time was underwhelming, because things are new and we don't know how to use our bodies perfectly!
More info: Only the first few centimeters of the vagina have nerve endings. So even with small dicks a woman COULD be pleasured. But after those few centimeters the vagina itself is pretty dead... The only thing giving internal pleasure then is when the clitorus has its crura laying close enough to the insides of the vagina.
(Yes, go Google the female sex organs, because most schools only just have started teaching students how big the clit actually is!) 
Screaming pleasure pure and only by penetration? Pfff I envy those women with that capability as like 85% of all woman won't ever reach a climax with only dick in vagajjaj stuff.

And then the anatomy for anal sex... You know what's in your intestines? Shit. Yeah right, there's shit in there.
So why is it that whenever two people choose to engage in spontaniouse butt sex there's 
NEVER poop involved?!
Don't get me wrong, it's not the thing we want to read about when we indulge in our smutfest, but come on!
You can't just push in a finger and expect it to come out squeaky clean!
And don't get me started on the madlads who -after they've fingered their partners apparent 'easy' to find P-spot - just go to touch any other part of their partner.
THAT'S ASKING FOR EITHER AND STD OR AN INFECTION!
Anal sex requires LOTS of preparation and for the love of god; use a CONDOM! 
Also, Not everyone likes the feeling! It is a practise you need to get into if you want to learn to enjoy it and most people won't even be able to like it!
Luckily a bigger portion of writers have found out that lube is a thing, STILL then! They make the beautiful mistakes of not knowing how to use the damn lubricant!
You can't squirt that stuff inside like you fill a creampuff! You don't just use it once and then never touch that bottle again in the span of a fifteen minute anal intercourse moment! AND THERE'S DIFFERENT KINDS OF LUBES! 
Half of them not suitable for anal play! (Always go for a waterbased one if you have no clue... If you ONLY want Anal sex, you can use a silicone based one and pleaaaasssse avoid the oil based ones. Those are for massages and will create suitable enviroments for bacteria if not cleaned off properly. The silicone ones are to be avoided in combination with toys by the way... Or you might melt your expensive or favorite toy and those particles will get into... You know... A safety hazard...)


And then the anatomy of boobs and chests.
Is it a smut story? Well, you bet the protagonists will drool whenever their nipples are touched right away. They'll even be able to cum from touch only and will leak or drip profusely from it.
Ugh... no! Yes, there are nerves in nipples making it possible to experience pleasure from them, but that's only for a hand full of people who are comfortable enough getting them touched or played with. It will HELP getting an orgasm, but it won't guarentee it...


Speaking of orgasms... Do any of you ever see one happening?!
"Their legs spasmnd so violently." or "His eyes rolled back and he filled her up till she spilled out around his still hard leaking cock?"
BULLLLLLLLLL!!!!!
First of all, ladies don't produce 'cum', they just make fluids containing more than water alone to lubricate their natural downstairs flora. 
When they squirt from overstimulation of the G-spot (Which by the way, is hard to find and most PENISSES won't even be able to reach it) these juices can come out. If they use their muscles, it can come in rays, but most of the time it will just leak out like an underwhelming trickle... (Also, no, it's not pee, but will stain your mattress and such... So clean up your mess!)
And for guys? If they orgasm, there's enough sperm for like... maybe three spoons full? So no, that creampie you see on pornsites isn't actually someone cumming buckets out of their pipi...
( Did you know that for most cumshots in porn, people use a mixture of cornstarch and water? Stays stickier and can be made everywhere.)
Yeah yeah, people can grunt or moan, spasm or cramp up whilst climaxing, but in most cases it's quite silent. 
(Another fun fact! Moaning and grunting isn't something we automatically do whilst being pleasured? It's more of a social thing where our brain recognizes it as pleasure. So we mainly moan or grunt to tell OTHERS we like things. We don't do it for ourselves. Another reason why loud sex is bullcrap in stories or porn most of the times... )


And the 'aftercare' Ohhhh we love it!
But why are all fanfic writers TOO DUMB to research what real aftercare entails?! 
Yeah yeah, the mental aftercare and giving someone a bath or shower, we know that shizzz...


But as a female: GO PEE AFTER SEX! 
Suuuuure that's not sexy at all to write about, but it is mandatory! (Even if she squirted half of her watersupply out. Even then!)
It keeps things clean, gets rid of bacteria and other unwanted miro-organisms and it makes sure you actually clean your vulva and vagina how it's supposed to be cleaned.
(Oi! Don't you dare grab for that 'special vagygy soap that you bought after seeing an add. That stuff is harmfuller than just using plain lukewarm water!)
AND GUYS! YOU TOO! GO PEE! There's a reason that their urethra track is the same way sperm leaves the body. It needs to be cleaned up! 
And yes, smegma needs to be cleaned off BEFORE and AFTER having sex.
Oh... no idea what smegma is?!
EDUCATE YOURSELF!
(*cough* smegma is just like female secretion. It consist of fluids, oils and dead skin cells and can become rather stinky if not dealt with properly. So with a  uncircumsized penis, pull back the foreskin and clean with lukewarm water.)
This also makes you think twice about those characters drooling over a dick... There are no flowery scents...  sex organs smell like skin... And depending on what you wore, ate or when you cleaned your bits it can impact the smell and taste...


These are only the tip of the iceberg about stupid things I read in smut scenes and anytime I read something smutty, I'm like; no wonder people get STD's so often.
(Because yes, 80% of us WILL get at least 1!!!!in our lives...)
Please... Wrap it up... Use a condom... Use the toilet... Clean yourself properly... 

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So, how to write anatomical right smut scenes?
- Go back to highschool sex ED. Use the internet, read a book, there's tons of information about how the human body works!
- First learn the words, then throw them around!
If you don't know the diffenence of a frenulum and the perineum, then go look up some anatomy pictures first before describing how your protagonist pleasures their partner's private parts.
- Don't go for the obvious!
Nothing is more boring than the; insert, thrust, cum and smile scenarios. Try to explore with smaller things and don't be afraid to let your characters go SLOW!
- Remember your own first times. (And if you haven't experienced those, ask your peers or stay with what you do know!)
We all started off with a nervous first kiss! Then maybe some groping before we went all the way. Heck, most people who were virgins and got in their first relationships took months to get to the point of touching each others private parts, let alone see them. 
May I remind you, the average age people have their first time is around and in between 16-21. 
- Write either safe sex, or be prepared to also write about the not so wonderful moments.
Will it be less romantic? Yes, but will it educate our readers and make them better educated people with realistic views on sex?! Heck yeah!
And for the ones whining; 'But these are just stories... we're not teachers... they are for entertainment.'
Well: YOU are the sole problem why STD's, unwanted pregnancies, broken relationships and infertility caused by infections are still a thing! BOO YOU!

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Writers confessions: 

I've written TONS of smut scenes. 

This one time in writing class I got called to the front, because of the 40 students, my sex scene was found to be the best one out of all of them.
Tiny problem... I had described the male anatomy in such a way it made the teacher break out in giggles.
He read out the story to all students and I had to stand there and replace EVERY description I had made to the word: Cock or penis.

Before: 
He felt his gentleman spring to life while the passengers inside of the metro pushed past him in search of some room. 
The pressure on his noble lord made him groan in frustration, because this was absolutely not the time and space to get arroused!


After:
He felt his cock spring to life while the passengers inside of the metro pushed past him in search of some room.

The pressure on his dick made him groan in frustration, because this was absolutely not the time and space to get arroused!

So yeah, of course I write scenes with prominent buldges, eyes rolling back in their sockets and cum shooting to the ceilings, because just like porn, writing smut is for entertainment and can be exaggerated.
But that doesn't mean I scurry away from the not so flattering topics about sex. So include the importance of peeing after their passionate make-out session and describe how their partner had his colone cleaned out twice before going on that date ending in anal sex!
Just be real and be aware that your readers are influenced by what you write.
And if we're all so great at complaining about our worhtless sex -ed in school; THEN EDUCATE YOURSELFS DAMMIT!


Ps: If you ever have any questions around sex, your body and relationships, don't be afraid to ask me for help:) I'm open to discuss and teach everyone!
This also entails the option of proofreading your smut scenes for misinformation or to spice things up!
Shoo boring smutchapters!