The Campus Queen Bee That Used To Be Us

Chapter 9

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As soon as the sun rises, I sit peacefully on our terrace, waiting for something. My orders online that I made two days ago.

After I went home that day, I couldn't help but feel really insecure. Insecure about everything in me. I feel really down and like the most attractive person in the world. I can't even say ugly 'cause I'm gonna cry.

I ended up stalking Leanne's IG. It's all the things I wish I was. She's all the things I wish I was. Latest post, she was at a fancy dinner restaurant, taking those candid shots in her long silk purple dress while holding those fancy champanges and all. Next post, she's out there partying in a club in her glittery dark purple dress with her super pretty and also super rich friends. Next post, she's at the beach, having that live, luagh, love caption in her light purple bikini, enjoying the waves.

It gave me comfort. It's so aesthetic yet so effortlessly taken. I could stare at it every day—except I also can't 'cause I get envy. Super duper envy that I went online shopping and bought all the makeup, skincare, and outfits that I could find that I think she would love.

Now, I'm waiting here outside of our house 'cause it's all supposed to arrive today. I can't just go inside, 'cause paano kung si Mom ang makakuha? Oh, I wouldn't even know what to say. Mabuti nang dito nalang ako kahit abutin pa ng tanghali. Maraming tanim na halaman si Mom kaya mahangin. Parang gusto tuloy na laging tumambay rito. Lumipas ang ilang oras at dumating na rin sa wakas.

"15,790 po."

Napailing ako. Ang mahal. Huhu, nakakaiyak. Nangingig ang kamay ko nang ibigay na sa delivery man ang bayad. Umalis na rin agad si Kuya.

"Ano 'yan?"

Napalingon ako kay mommy na nasa pintuan na pala. Masama ang tingin niya dahil ang dami talaga nito to the point na nasa isang malaking box ang lahat. Binuhat ko ulit ang box. Ang bigat!

"Ah, wala po! Mga damit lang!" nakangiting sabi ko. Naglakad na ako papasok at habang paakayt ng hagdanan ay ramdam ko pa rin ang titig niya!

Agad kong sinara ang pintuan at ni-locked ito. Inilapag ko na ang box sa sahig at umupo. I sighed, this is it! Tuluyan ko nang binuksan ang bag at isa-sang binuksan ang mga balot nito. Para tuloy akong may OFW na pamilyang nagpadala ng balikbayan box!

Isa-isa kong inilatag ang mga skincares and makeups sa dati kong study table. Kahapon pa ay tinanggal ko na ang mga books, papers, at kung anu-ano to give space. Kinuha ko na rin ang hindi ginagamit na salamin sa sala at ikinabit ito sa pader to serve as my mirror!

Natulala ako nang tuluyan nang maayos ang lahat-lahat. Ang ganda tingnan! Karamihan ay color pink and white kaya hindi masakit sa mata. Sana sa balat din! Sunod kong inayos ang mga damit sa aking closet. Kumuha pa ako ng maraming hanger sa sampayan ni Mom para sa mga ito. Ang gaganda rin nila! Karamihan ay pastel colors kasi I love them so much recently.

Bumalik na ako sa table at komportableng umupo. I looked at myself in the mirror. This is it. I can do this. I can be as pretty as Leanne too!

Binuksan ko na ang tablet sa tabi to open YT and started browsing a bunch of make-up tutorials. Ang dami! May 2016 makeup tutorial, full glam makeup tutorial, drag queen makeup tutorial, it girl makeup, doyin makeup, goth makeup, and more! Ang gaganda ng lahat, but I choose the one for beginners.

It started off pretty great. Ang galing magpaliwanag ng vlogger! Step by step at items per item! Nang tuluyan na siyang magsimula ay sinundan ko na siya. Mukhang madali lang naman.