𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 | 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝟎𝟐

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟎𝟒

BREE

Not Enough. Not Enough. Not Enough. Not Enough. Not Enough. Not Enough. Not Enough. Not Enough.

You’re never enough!

I wake up, sweating and gasping for air. My body stays rigid. My vision stays blurry, no sound comes in my ear. Oxygen doesn’t go in my lungs making panic settle into my stomach and my eyes tear up.

Breathe.

I force my eyes to close. I inhale from my nose and exhale from my mouth.

I continue to do that till the sound of muffled voices reaches my ears, indicating that I’m back in reality.

I slowly open my eyes and release a heavy breath as my room’s ceiling comes into my view.

I sit up and take a few more deep breaths before I get up from my bed and go to wash up.

When I step out of my room, I find my brother- Jack- shoving his face with pancakes while Rose is reading a book, sipping on her coffee. Both of them seated by the kitchen counter.

Their heads turn towards me as I shut my room door.

"Good morning, sis," Jack says with his mouth full.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Rose tells him.

He rolls his eyes, "Okay, mom," he says, earning an eyeroll from Rose then goes back to eating.

"What do you want to eat?" Rose asks as I walk around the counter to get my coffee.

"Just coffee," I mutter, taking out a mug.

I can feel Jack's and Rose's concerned gaze on me as I pour myself coffee.

"So..." Jack starts, after finishing his food, "why did you break his car?-"

As soon as the question leaves Jack's mouth, Rose hits his arm.

"Ow!" He exclaims, clutching his arm- he's being dramatic- and looks at Rose who's glaring at him.

"You said you wouldn't ask her anything if I made you breakfast!"

"My brother is scarier than you!"

Rose gasps, "You used me!"

"Oh, please, stop being dramatic- ow!- stop pinching me!"

Rose and Jack start bickering like always. Usually, I step in and we gang up on Jack but I don't have the energy.

So, I take my mug and go back to my room. I hear their bickering die down when they notice me walking away.

I take my seat by my study table and open my laptop to check emails.

I'm reading through an email for my event planning job when I hear the door to my room open.

"Hey, you okay?" Rose asks as she pulls a seat beside me.

"Fine," I say and take a sip. I put down my glass and start typing my reply, accepting the job.

"You're lying,"

I stop typing and let out a sigh. She reads me like a book.

"Is this about last night? I'm sorry if that's upsetting you. I'll get his car fixed if you want-"

"No. I don't care about him." I say.

"Then?"

I hesitate, trying to figure out how to say it, "I... I don't think I'm upset that he broke up with me..." I trail off, remembering what I felt when I saw them together, "the thing that hurt me was... that... I wasn't enough."

The things I thought were more than enough for him weren't even close.

I failed.

"Bree, that's not true." Rose says, pulling me out of my thoughts, "Jay is a selfish jerk. He was destroying you. He was using you."

"What if that's not-"

"No, listen to me." She grabs my shoulder and makes me look at her, "Jay doesn't deserve an ounce of your generosity and kindness. He doesn't deserve you."

"Are you going to say that everytime a guy dumps me?" I ask, a sad smile taking over my lips.

"What?- no- Bree, you haven't met the right guy. And I will continue to talk shit about every man who is a red flag. You will find your man. Who treats you like the queen you are. And till he doesn't show up, I promise I will not let any man degrade you."

I stare at Rose for a moment.

She's so full of hope. She never lets me fall into an hopeless hole whenever I'm around her.

Ever since we've met, Rose turned herself into a mother figure for me. Always making sure I'm alright and treated well. One of the reasons Ryan trusts Rose is because he knows she wouldn't let anyone- including herself- hurt me.

"Understand?" Rose asks when I don't answer.

I nod. And she smiles.

"Good." She says then stands up, "now, excuse me, I'm going to kick your brother out of the apartment,"

I chuckle, "good luck," Jack is going to be dramatic.

"Meh, I can handle him." She says then leaves the room.

After a while, I start hearing Jack's dramatic threats towards Rose to steal her books and planners.

As soon as Ryan's name starts to arrive in the threat, I hear the front door slam shut.