What If? - Jayda Odair

4

Hi everyone, sorry for taking ages to update. I was just being lazy tbh lol.

I'll write more now I'm motivated again.

****

My smirk is quickly wiped off my face. I'm hearing things, it's the nerves.

The crowd around me, my classmates, turn to look at me. Everything is so fuzzy, it all feels like some crazy fever dream. I blink, though it takes a lot of effort. This must be one of my hyper realistic nightmares.

"Where are you dear? Jayda Odair, come up on stage." Polia calls out amongst the crowd.

The girl behind me pushes me forwards and I stumble onto the ground. The crowd in front of me splits into two, clearing a path from me to the stage.

Shakily, I lift myself off the floor, dusting the dirt off my skirt. Little stones have lodged themselves into my knees and hands, prying open my skin and leaving me raw. I'll wake up soon. I'll be home and safe, it'll all be over.

I limp over to the stage and walk up the stairs. Polia takes my shoulders and guides me to stand beside Finnick.
I feel a hand in mine, raising my arm up above my head.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the tributes for the 3rd Quarter Quell." Polia says. The crowd cheers; Finnick lets go of my hand and nods to the crowd.

This cannot be real. My mind is racing with questions as I'm ushered into the building behind me. Why me? I'm not a victor?

"Listen to me," Finnick crouches in front of me, holding my shoulders tightly, "You're not going to cry. You have to stay strong." I nod, though the words fly past my head. It's just a dream. I'll wake up in the comfort of my bed. Any second now. "You are not scared. You're going to be OK."

We are harshly pushed onto the train. My heart is ripped into pieces as I stare at the window, Old Ervin's sad face gets smaller by the second. We weren't allowed to say goodbye.

I can hear Finnick yelling and banging on the door but I stay in my spot by the window. "Annie!" He's yelling but no one is letting him out.

I watch District 4, my home, become a smaller dot in the distance. My favourite fishing spot, the delicious fish pies from the Commercium Market, the way our garden stayed sunny all day in the summer and got enveloped in a soft blanket of snow in the winter. I am overwhelmed with a feeling of bittersweet, I've taken everything for granted.

Eventually, they manage to rip Finnick away from the door and he slumps beside me.

I watch the blur of fields and bushes fly past; Finnick gets up and walks to the large table behind us. I was so caught up with concealed emotions when I got here, I didn't even notice it until now. It's packed with many foods, some I've never seen before - special stews, soups, casseroles, curries, oysters, beef and other various meats I've never tried before, all laid out in glass bowls and porcelain plates with flower patterns painted around the edges.

Standing up, I walk beside Finnick and pick up a strawberry from a fancy glass bowl. Back in District 4, strawberries only come from imports from District 11 so we rarely get to eat them. I put the unusually red fruit into my mouth. It's probably been chemically altered or something, the ones we get from District 11 aren't this sweet.

"These are really good." I say, offering Finnick a strawberry. He takes it from me and takes a small bite. He shrugs and shoves the whole thing in his mouth, green part and all. That shows how little he eats strawberries. Whenever we get an import, he lets me eat the majority of them.

The sky falls dark as we stuff ourselves with lamb chops and mashed potatoes. I can feel my stomach bursting, we've already had carrot soup and cabbage, the courses just seem to keep coming. Even in Victors village I've never eaten so much.

The next course comes in; it's cheese and fruit. Great. Surely this is dessert, I don't think I can eat anything else if it isn't.

I put a small selection of fruit - orange slices, grapes and plums - on my plate.

"Save space," Finnick eats a singular grape. "Pudding's the best bit." He winks. Oh great, there's more.

Just as Finnick said, dessert comes in on a silver platter, quite literally, and is placed in the middle of the table. A large, gooey chocolate cake sits temptingly in front of my plate. I know I shouldn't really, but it smells so good. I eagerly help myself to a slice and dig in instantly. I close my eyes and savour the taste; the last time I had a chocolate cake was my 9th birthday, and even then it was very small and cheap.

Stuffed with chocolate cake and fruit, I am guided to my room by an Avox. I look at the silent girl with curiosity; I heard the Capitol cuts their tongues off so they can't share their secrets. I wonder what it's like to not be able to speak, it can't be very nice. "Thank you." I say and she nods, shutting the door behind me.

I see some night clothes have been laid out on my bed already. I slip into the silky material and allow the bed sheets to engulf me when I fall into the bed.

"Put that back!" Cordi hisses, snatching the brooch out of my hands. I glare at her, she's being dramatic, the Peacekeepers aren't going to notice one missing brooch.
"But I want it." I snatch it back in one swift movement. It's a pretty pin, a little golden bird holding an arrow, we don't have that kind of bird in District 4.

"Then buy it, don't steal." She rips it out of fingers. We go back and forth, back and forth.

"Alright!" Mira snaps. "Stop fighting, you're drawing attention to yourselves. Just put it back and let's get out of here; the Peacekeepers are looking at you funny."

Cordi walks to the stall I stole the brooch from, "Fine, let's take the stupid thing back."

The crowd is silent; I meander my way through as quickly as possible. I must make it to the stage before anything happens to Cordi. Mira has disappeared, the little coward.

I'm almost on the stage when it happens again, the floor swallows me whole.

I'm falling. Falling into the darkness; her screams surround me. I'm sorry I couldn't save you.

****

Sorry it's quite short.

Damn I really need to proof read there's so many mistakes. "carrot soup and carrot" LOL changed it now