Beyond the Notebook

Back to Reality

Landing in Paris felt surreal, as if I had been away for years instead of just a few days. The familiar sights of the airport brought a sense of comfort, but also a wave of sadness knowing I was now thousands of miles away from Zac. As I walked through the arrivals gate, I spotted Carmen waiting for me. Her face lit up when she saw me, and without thinking, I ran into her arms, hugging her tightly.

"I missed you so much," I said, my voice breaking as tears welled up.

Carmen squeezed me back just as tightly. "I missed you too! How was everything? You have to tell me everything!"

We made our way to her car, and as soon as we were seated, I began spilling out the details. "It was...amazing, Carmen. We connected in ways I never thought possible. We kissed...several times, and it was so hard to say goodbye."

Carmen glanced at me, her eyes wide. "Oh my god, really? That's incredible! But wow...saying goodbye must have been tough."

"It was," I nodded, wiping away a tear. "It felt like leaving a part of myself behind."

She reached over and squeezed my hand. "Well, you're here now. You can take it one step at a time. We'll figure this out."

We pulled up to my apartment, and Carmen gave me one last hug before I got out. "Rest up. We'll catch up more at dinner with your parents if you're up for it."

I smiled weakly. "Thanks, Carmen. I'll see you later."

As I entered my apartment, the familiar surroundings felt strange, almost foreign after the whirlwind of the past few days. I headed straight to my bedroom, feeling the exhaustion catching up with me. Before anything else, I grabbed my phone and dialed Zac's number for a video call. When his face appeared on the screen, my heart skipped a beat. He looked tired but happy to see me.

"Hey, you made it," he said with a warm smile.

"Yeah, I'm here," I replied softly, showing him my room. "I'm safe and sound."

"Good," he said, his eyes lingering on mine through the screen. "I miss you already."

"I miss you too," I admitted. "It feels so strange to be back without you."

We continued talking for a little while, sharing how strange it felt to be apart after everything that had happened. Then I remembered something that had been on my mind. "By the way, at what time is your interview with Jimmy Kimmel on Friday?"

Zac thought for a moment before answering, "The interview will be at 5 a.m. your time. I'm flying out to LA tomorrow at 1 p.m. for it."

"5 a.m.?" I repeated, doing the quick math in my head. "That's early."

He looked at me with concern. "Yeah, it is. I don't want you staying up all night just to watch the interview. You need your rest."

I smiled, feeling touched by his worry. "It's just one night, Zac. I'll be fine. Besides, I don't want to miss seeing you on TV."

Zac chuckled softly, though his eyes were still filled with warmth. "You're too good to me. Just promise me you'll get some sleep after the interview, okay?"

"I promise," I replied, my voice softening. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

The conversation lulled into a comfortable silence for a moment, with both of us simply looking at each other through the screen. Eventually, the exhaustion began to catch up with me, and I felt my eyelids growing heavier. I tried to fight it, but soon enough, I drifted off to sleep during the call.

When I woke up an hour or two later, I noticed the call had ended, and Zac had left me a message: "I'm heading to bed. I have a meeting with my manager tomorrow. Sleep well. I miss you already. I love you."

After freshening up, I made my way to my parents' house. The moment I stepped through the door, my sisters rushed at me, tackling me with hugs so tight that we all tumbled to the ground, laughing.

"Whoa! Careful!" I laughed, hugging them back as tightly as I could.

Our parents and Carmen came to help us up, and I immediately wrapped my arms around them. Being home felt warm and familiar, but there was an undercurrent of sadness knowing that I had left something precious behind.

At dinner, I told my family all about my trip, carefully omitting the parts about Zac and me becoming a couple. I described the places we visited, like the beautiful little town Zac had shown me, and the charming French restaurant near the beach where we had dinner. I went on about the delicious meals we cooked together, how we laughed and bonded over French dishes, and the poolside fun we had in the warm sun. My parents and sisters listened eagerly, asking questions about every detail, their eyes lighting up with excitement.

But even as I talked, there was this weight in my chest, this lingering need to share the deeper story—the part about Zac and me. About how our connection had grown into something more than just a vacation fling. How saying goodbye had been one of the hardest things I'd ever done. Every time my sisters teased me about spending so much time with Zac, I had to hold back the truth, keeping the most precious parts of the trip locked away for now.

And through it all, I couldn't shake the need to talk to someone, to confide in someone about the deeper feelings I was carrying, the uncertainty and the hope that were now part of me. I needed someone to know what it really meant to leave him behind.

After dinner, Carmen left, and I stayed behind to help my mom with the dishes. As we worked together in the kitchen, I finally decided to open up to her.

"Mom, there's something I didn't mention during dinner," I began hesitantly.

She looked at me with gentle concern. "What is it, sweetheart?"

I took a deep breath. "Zac and I... we're a thing now. It's more than just a friendship. We kissed, and it was so hard to leave his house. I'm scared, Mom. What if he falls in love with one of his co-stars while I'm not around? What if this doesn't work?"

My mom stopped what she was doing and turned to face me fully. "Honey, love isn't easy, especially with the distance and his career. But if what you two have is real, it will find a way to work. Trust in that. And trust in him."

Her words were soothing, and I nodded, feeling a bit of the weight lift off my shoulders. "I do trust him," I said softly. "I just...don't want to lose him."

"You won't," she reassured me, pulling me into a hug. "Just take things one day at a time and be open with each other. Communication is key."

Later that evening, I returned to my apartment, feeling a little lighter. I sent Zac a message before bed: "I love you." With that, I curled up under the covers, feeling a mix of hope and uncertainty for what the future might hold.