The referee

You cant be close to me Leah

I had relayed to Leah about a part of my past that only two people knew about, Jess and Dani. I'd never trusted anyone or opened up about what happened to my grandad. Yeah it had been in the papers but there were no names attached to that article or even linking me to it.

I was still sat on my sofa with Leah in front of me I could see she was taking everything I had just said to her in. Not once did she let go of my hands, the more I told her the more she squeezed my hands and rubbed her thumb over them. She was giving me the reassurance to carry on talking

I was scared to look up, scared to look into her blue eyes afraid of what I'd see...would there be pity, sorrow...maybe even a scared look in them and that petrified me. Apart of me expected her to just leave once I had finished talking. I knew it was a lot to take in. A lot to be involved in. But as the minutes ticked by she was still in front of me holding my hands

"I'm so sorry Cam" Leah whispered while lifting my chin up to look at her...my eyes searched for any emotion that seeped out of her eyes, I didn't see the emotions I expected to see, I could see anger....gratitude....and a loving look

"I don't expect you to stick around Leah, like you're free to go..." I start to say

"Hey hey stop...ok I'm not going anywhere" she said while trialing her thumb over my cheek

"Leah you don't get it, you can't be near me" I said while removing myself from Leah's touch

"Why"

"Why won't you let me help you" she said while getting up to follow me

"Cause I can't let anyone else get hurt because of me!" I shouted I could see her flinch slightly

"What happened to your grandad wasn't your fault Cam" she tried to say

"No but what happened to Jess was!" As soon as the words left my mouth I wish I could take them back instantly

"What do you mean? There's more?" Leah asked

"Iv already told you too much Leah, just ignore I said anything, it's nothing ok"

"I can't do that Camden, I care about you ok, I notice things that no one else does, that you don't even know I notice, that you scrunch your nose up when you tell a lie, I can tell you're not sleeping, that this whole thing is eating you alive, why won't you let me be there for you and help you" she said while walking closer to me trying to take my hand in hers

"Don't Leah"  I said trying to put distance between us

"Don't what..show that I care about you or that I know you"

"You don't know me" I quipped

"Then let me know you" she added

"And then you'll get hurt Leah"

"Let me be the judge of that" she finally moved closer taking my hand back into hers, I knew letting Leah in or her being here was a risk, if he had seen her then there is no saying what he'd do. He'd do anything to hurt me which meant hurting the people closest to me, it was like I was being pulled into two different directions...I wanted to be selfish, I wanted to let Leah in more, tell her everything but could I forgive myself if anything happened to her. Definitely not.

"I can't Leah"

"Then I'll ask Jess what happened to her" panic hit me as Leah began to head towards the door, i knew if Leah asked Jess that then it would raise suspicions, the last thing I wanted was Jess to panic, after all it was just a normal car accident in her eyes...I quickly bolted in front of Leah to stop her going anywhere

"You can't" I said once again my eyes making contact with the floor

"Why, if you're not gonna tell me then I'll get it out of her" she said while trying to step around me

"Cause she won't be able to tell you anything!"

"What? That makes no...she doesn't know about any of this does she? The messages...the threats" as i see it click in Leah's head I just nod

"She can't know about it Leah, how can I tell her she was nearly killed because of me...that she was ran off the road and almost died because I didn't answer his threats, I know I'm a horrible person for almost getting my sister killed"

"Hey no! Stop. None of this is your fault ok, you didn't ask for any of this, you never made those things happen, all you've tried to do is protect the people you love" Leah said, I know she was trying to make me feel better but again it clicked inside of me that again I needed to also protect her

"You can't be close to me Leah, anyone that's close to me gets hurt, you have to trust me when I say that this is for your own good ok, you need to walk out that door and forget I ever existed" I said while taking her face in my hands, it was like I was pleading her to stay and to go.

"I will if you tell me who's doing this" Leah said

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AN
Sorry I didn't update sooner...iv been feeling sorry for myself with a hangover 😂🙈 also sorry not sorry for another cliffhanger 👀 I know you guys love them 😉🤣