Breaking Free

3.

Kierra stood in front of the mirror in Tasha's guest bedroom, her reflection unfamiliar. The bruises had faded, leaving only the faintest traces on her skin, but the emotional scars were harder to ignore. She ran a hand through her hair, trying to steady herself as memories of Jordan's cruelty surfaced, unbidden.

Every time she closed her eyes, she saw his face—felt the weight of his hands, the venom in his words. It had been weeks since she'd left, but the fear lingered like a shadow, always creeping in when she least expected it.

But today was different. Today, she was going to take a step forward.

She had agreed to meet with a counselor that Tasha had recommended, someone experienced in helping survivors of abuse. The thought of spilling her darkest secrets to a stranger made her stomach churn, but she knew it was a necessary part of the process. If she was ever going to be free, truly free, she needed to face what had happened to her.

"Kierra? You ready?" Tasha's voice came from the hallway, snapping her out of her thoughts.

Kierra took a deep breath and nodded, even though Tasha couldn't see her. "Yeah, I'm coming."

She grabbed her purse and headed out, finding Tasha waiting by the front door. "You don't have to do this alone, you know," Tasha said softly, offering a reassuring smile. "I can come with you, if you want."

Kierra shook her head, trying to summon some semblance of strength. "I need to do this by myself. But... thank you."

Tasha squeezed her arm gently. "You're stronger than you think, Kierra. Just remember that."

Kierra appreciated Tasha's words, but she wasn't sure if she believed them. Still, she forced herself to smile, to project a confidence she didn't feel. "I'll be back in a couple of hours."

The drive to the counselor's office was nerve-wracking. Kierra's thoughts raced as she replayed every possible scenario in her head—what she would say, how the counselor might react, whether she would be able to handle dredging up all that pain again. But by the time she pulled into the parking lot, she realized that she had already made it this far. That had to count for something.

The waiting room was quiet, almost too quiet, as Kierra filled out the intake forms. Her hand shook slightly as she wrote down the details of her life, her marriage, and the abuse that had driven her to seek help. When she handed the clipboard back to the receptionist, she felt exposed, like she had just bared a part of herself she had kept hidden for so long.

"Mrs.Kelly?" A gentle voice called her name, and Kierra looked up to see a woman standing in the doorway, her expression warm and inviting. "I'm Dr. Edwards. Please, come on in."

Kierra followed Dr. Edwards into the office, her nerves on edge. The room was cozy, with soft lighting and comfortable chairs, but Kierra felt anything but relaxed as she sat down, clutching her purse like a lifeline.

"I know this isn't easy," Dr. Edwards began, her tone kind and understanding. "But I want you to know that this is a safe space. We can go at your own pace. You don't have to share anything you're not ready to."

Kierra nodded, her throat tight. She didn't know where to start, how to begin to unravel the tangled mess of emotions that had consumed her for so long. But she had to try.

"I... I don't even know how to talk about it," Kierra admitted, her voice trembling. "It's like, if I say it out loud, it'll make it real, and I'm not sure I can handle that."

Dr. Edwards leaned forward slightly, her gaze steady and compassionate. "You've already taken the first step by coming here, Kierra. That shows incredible courage. We can start wherever you feel comfortable. Maybe you can tell me about a moment, something specific that stands out to you."

Kierra hesitated, her mind racing through countless memories, each one more painful than the last. But then she thought of the night she finally left, the moment she realized she couldn't stay with Jordan any longer. The memory surged to the forefront, vivid and raw.

"There was a night... the night I left," Kierra began, her voice barely above a whisper. "We had been arguing—well, he was yelling, and I was just trying to keep the peace. But he snapped. He grabbed me, and I knew... I knew if I didn't get out, he was going to kill me."

The words hung in the air, heavy and suffocating. Kierra felt tears welling up, but she refused to let them fall. She had cried too many tears over Jordan. She wasn't going to give him that power now.

Dr. Edwards didn't push her to continue, allowing the silence to stretch on until Kierra felt ready to speak again.

"I left that night. My friend Tasha, came and helped me leave and now I'm staying with her but... I still feel like he's controlling me. Even now, while I'm free of him physically, he's still in my head, making me doubt myself, making me scared of what he'll do if he finds me."

Dr. Edwards nodded slowly, her expression thoughtful. "It's not uncommon for survivors of abuse to feel that way. What you've experienced is traumatic, and it's going to take time to heal. But you're here now, and that's a huge step. We can work on building your sense of self again, reclaiming the power that was taken from you."

Kierra listened, trying to absorb the counselor's words. She wanted to believe that healing was possible, that she could one day feel whole again. But it seemed like such a distant goal, almost impossible to reach.

"Do you think I'll ever really be free?" Kierra asked, her voice tinged with desperation.

"I do," Dr. Edwards said firmly. "But it's not going to happen overnight. It's a journey, and it's okay to take it one step at a time. The important thing is that you've started. You're already on the path to freedom."

Kierra let those words sink in, feeling a small flicker of hope. She had taken the first step, and maybe—just maybe—she could find the strength to keep going.

When the session ended, Kierra felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She wasn't "fixed"—not by a long shot—but she had begun the process, and that was something. As she walked back to her car, she found herself thinking of Tasha, of the safe haven she had provided. Kierra knew she still had a long way to go, but she wasn't alone. And that made all the difference.

By the time she returned to Tasha's house, Kierra felt a little more at peace. Tasha was waiting in the living room, her face lighting up when she saw Kierra walk in.

"How did it go?" Tasha asked, her tone gentle.

Kierra smiled, a genuine smile this time. "It was hard. But... I think it helped. I'm going to keep going."

Tasha nodded, her eyes shining with pride. "I'm glad. You're doing great, Kierra. I'm here for you, every step of the way."

Kierra felt a warmth spread through her chest at Tasha's words. She wasn't alone in this fight. With Tasha by her side, she knew she could face whatever came next.