THE FARM || ITASASU

Part 7 1/2

Long after everyone living on the farm was asleep, knowing all too well that the next day's work would be too hard to keep up with through their hangover, the two brothers still shared a moment they would come to cherish. The night was chilly, but the warmth of their bodies was enough to keep them sitting there, to keep the moment going for as long as they possibly could. Despite being under the influence, they both were aware that once sleep took hold of them and morning came, they would be back to square one. 

"Are you happy here?" Sasuke asked, crossing his arms in his lap, still leaning into Itachi's embrace. He smelt like home.

It should be an easy question with an easy answer; however, for Itachi, he didn't consider happiness for himself. It's to live or not, and not much more thought goes into the topic.

"Well, I don't think about the past as much anymore, if that's an answer enough for you. I don't know if I would consider myself happy. I know I am not unhappy. I have a purpose here; I'm accepted. That is good enough for me."

"And that friend you mentioned, the one that that's not around anymore, Why is that?"

"Getting a bit too personal now, no?" Itachi shook his head, turning his gaze towards the sky. "He passed away a long time ago."

Upon hearing those words, Sasuke perked up and sat up from Itachi's hold around him. There was an apparent shock and then regret in his face.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up something bad. I thought maybe you just grew apart."

Itachi smiled, shaking his head again. He didn't say anything else about the topic. Instead, he just pulled Sasuke back, holding him ever so slightly tighter. He enjoyed having him so close again and wanted to make the most of it before it fell apart.

"Do you think, one day, we will be able to move on from all of this?"

"What is it with all of these hard-hitting questions?" Itachi didn't mind; having a meaningful conversation was all he could have hoped for, but he wouldn't get his hopes up either way. He knows better than that. "I suppose it all depends on you, on what you make of it."

Sasuke sighed, holding back a yawn. He didn't know what time it was, but his tiredness was catching up to him. All he wanted to hear was that it would be all okay, that once he woke up in the morning, Itachi would have all the answers, just like he always used to.

"I just don't know what to do with all of this new information. I mean,  banishing you because dad saw you kiss a guy once? He would probably rip his skeleton out of his body if he knew half the things I've done. All of this, all this sadness and misery over something so dumb? It's unforgivable. God, I'm going to make him eat dirt when I see him-"

"I would strongly advise against doing that, Sasuke." The name now rolled off his tongue so easily, so naturally, just like it used to. "There is no reason for you to burn bridges over me."

"Nonsense. Dad did that himself. What right does he have over who you kiss?" Sasuke was getting visibly annoyed and frustrated. "You can kiss a frog for all I care. That's not reason enough to do something like that."

"I will refrain from kissing frogs if you don't mind." Itachi laughed. "I don't want to excuse Fugaku; I strongly disagree with his beliefs, but he has the right to choose whether he wants to accept me the way I am. It doesn't change anything about me, and it speaks of his character, but it's his choice nonetheless. Whether I like it or not."

Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows, the wheels in his head turning. He still couldn't accept that this was the reason he lost his brother, the reason his brother's life was ruined.

"Well, then he can kick me out for kissing a man, too, then." Sasuke sat up again, this time holding Itachi's arm.

"Are you saying you are also-?" Itachi was surprised. Maybe the apple indeed doesn't fall far from the tree?

"What? No. I meant he can kick me out for this." Sasuke caught Itachi by surprise as he pulled on his arm quickly, pulled him closer, moved his right hand to the back of Itachi's head, and pressed his lips against Itachi's. It wasn't on his bingo card when he woke up that morning, but he couldn't help himself. He moved his lips slowly and with certainty, unlike his brother, who was still in disbelief but didn't stop it. He would like to say it was because of the sheer shock and how bizarre it was, but instead of disgust deep in his stomach, it felt like a fire was lit deep within him. He reciprocated the kiss, his movements slowly becoming more intended, more intimate.

"That was unexpected, to say the least," Itachi muttered quietly when they separated to get air back into their lungs. Sasuke's lips and taste lingered on his own, the feeling of something depraved settling inside his stomach. "I suppose enough of this." He added, rolling the bottle down the grass away from them.

Sasuke kept his mouth shut for a long moment, still stunned that he had just done this; surely he wasn't as bad as kissing a frog would be, but was it better? Morally, both were wrong in one way or another. He hid his face in his hands before dragging them down, letting a frustrated sound escape his throat.

"I'm such an idiot, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that." He wasn't really sorry that he did it; he was more sorry that he enjoyed it, though he wouldn't admit that to Itachi.

"It certainly felt better than when you were still hating me. Assuming you don't anymore."

"That's not funny, I don't know what came over me. I'm so angry that you had to leave over something so stupid. What's so wrong with that anyway?"

Itachi pondered the question for a good second before he initiated the kiss himself. He used his body weight to push Sasuke onto his back into the grass, his long hair falling around them, hiding their kiss from prying eyes. If Sasuke asks him why he would do something like this later, he will simply blame the alcohol.