So please be mad at me. Go ahead and get angry. It's better if you do.
—☆—The two didn't talk for a while after that. He didn't know how. She didn't know why. He didn't know how to tell her that she wouldn't see him again. She waited eight fucking years for him to pack up and leave her. He can't cope. He can't even comprehend the idea of living without her. It was unfathomable. But he had no choice but to understand it.
A factor in life he would forever have to deal with. It's impossible. But she had to know. She had to know when she walked hours to his training grounds. Why? She was crying. Tears down her eyes like it was the end of the world. The world had to keep spinning if hers stopped. Even if the very universe she begged to bless her still hated her.
"Meine Liebe, why do you cry?" He had to know. He didn't like it when she cried. He didn't think angels should cry. "No reason." People don't just cry. Even if people don't know why they're crying, there's a reason they're crying. They still feel those emotions for a reason. A reason they can't shake away simply because they can't.
He should have known it was stupid to tell her then. He didn't tell her. "Did you come to say goodbye?" Ness's voice. He didn't really realize until he saw the ocean pooling in her eyes. "Huh? Why's she crying?" So clueless, really. "Shut the fuck up Alexis!" Ness didn't respond to his anger. He didn't say no. He shut his mouth just like he was asked to. "I'm sorry." Nikita couldn't help but feel bad for the boy. Sitting there and taking someone else's anger like she always did.
Though, she really did trust that he would never do that to her. She couldn't help but fear that she would take it the same way she does with her father. Because even she knows despite she odd times she speaks out, she's attached. She idolised him like he was a divine being. Like he was a king blessed the God's. Charles the first himself. She wished she could have been parliament and overtaken him, but she couldn't.
She stood there just like Ness did. "Goodbye? Why would I need to say goodbye?" She wiped her tears away. Goodbye? She didn't want to have to say goodbye again. It wouldn't be for long, right? "Japan. We're going to Japan. For a long time,to train with these prospects. I don't know whatever they call themselves." He's leaving. She doesn't know how to say it or how to respond. She waited years, not a day without thinking of him.
"You're not going anywhere. Michael, you won't do that to me again. I can't let you do that." She doesn't let the tap run free. Her voice breaks, but her words don't stumble. Nobody else really says anything. The whole world turned on her in that moment. "Years!" She thinks about it. All of them gone. Even over time, they became friends. She became friends with the team. She became friends with Noa. She even came to understand Ness.
And the boy didn't like her at first. He didn't like how Michael was so focused on her, but they became friends. Noa became more like a father to her than she could ever have imagined. She can't even explain it, but it's there. It's just lingering in her mind like a fallen record. It won't ever be the same again. "I'm sorry." He's sorry? She didn't even understand how she felt. She didn't understand anything in that moment.
She couldn't fathom shit. She was just angry. The whole world turned red. She was so angry that she fucking slapped him. It wasn't him fault. He stood there stunned the same way Ness did. She looked at her hands. They shook. She didn't understand anymore. She couldn't think. She was so angry. No longer at him. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Her breathing hitched up. She hit him. He never even thought about that. He never imagined that the person who saved him from violence would have been violent.
No. She didn't use force or power. She didn't really want it to hurt. She wasn't thinking, but it was the very idea of it that haunted him. She was sorry. She didn't even know how to forgive herself. "I'm sorry, Michael. I'm so fucking sorry."
But he didn't care. He didn't care because she was the only who knew the shit he was put through. Still, she hit him. She hurt him despite the fact that there was no actual physical pain. The very concept of her hurting him was undeniably strange. She hated it. He hated it. "I don't fucking care, Moriah." Moriah. Last name basis. She nearly screamed. She sobbed, really. "I really don't fucking care. Get out. Nikita, I swear to heavens, get out." He didn't yell. He didn't raise his voice, but he input more anger in his words than ever.
She left. She wasn't mad. It was better that he was angry, right? He had every right to be. He had every right to never forgive her. Even though she never would really forgive herself. "I'm sorry." She said. Nobody else around. The rain gently hitting her face. The clouds forming.
How unlucky to be in a thunderstorm. Still, she began her walk home. Her phone dead, no nearby bus that she knew of. And she wouldn't go back and ask for help. So she walked. "I'm so sorry."
—☆—
Chapter end.Sorry that I'm so late for chapters. And heavy on the angst with this one, sorry ml.
I love you guys sm, eat well, sleep well and hydrate. The final moons awaits you with an elixir. You'll be okay in the end.
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𝐋𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍 𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐏𝐒. Michael Kaiser
Fanfiction"𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐆𝐎𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥" @𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐗𝐑𝐒 Published: 14.05.2024 Finished: 05.10.2024