𝐋𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍 𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐏𝐒. Michael Kaiser

17. Trust me

That's the best part, baby, the trust
Trust me, I got nothin' for you other than love
✄┈┈┈┈

Nobody ever really expected Nikita to be with Kaiser. Nobody expected Kaiser to be with anybody. Nobody expected to see a man so vulnerable at the mere sight of this girl. The girl who makes fun of him for his strange behaviour towards the bluenette. It's Nikita. Everything good about him has slowly begun to stem from her.

Even when they fight, even when he wakes up from nightmares, it's always her. She always makes him calm. She makes him himself. Nobody in this world has ever been able to do that because nobody in this world has ever been able to love Kaiser the same way she does. Nobody will ever be able to love Kaiser the same way she does.

The scarred remains on his skin, his hesitation of others. "Why are you scared?" Fear is a drug humans don't tend to understand they're even consuming. The don't understand even when their lungs flare up, and they lose all sense of life inside them. Even if we run and hide, it's different. It's different – the way he looks at her.

Like he's not scared anymore. Like he's ready to give her everything, but he's not. "What are we, Michael? Please, I want to know." They've been close, but they haven't been anything. Not friends, not partners, not souls, not lovers. It's like he's been playing this stupid game with her while trying to figure things out. "Please, Michael, I left my whole fucking life for you."

"The least you could do is tell me what I am to you? Am I the girl or just a girl, please. I'm losing my mind over this shit." He freezes. How does he answer a question he's not even ready to think about. He's always just expected her to wait for him like she always did. She's waited eight years; can't she hang on a little bit longer?

He's never thought about the idea that he's been leading her along on this shitty situation he's been keeping her in. He knows it's not like he asked her to come to this place anyway. She came here of her own free will. "You did this to yourself, Niki." It's like he doesn't even give a shit, and she's losing her mind. "Yeah, I did."

At least, this time she doesn't feel so guilty about it. She doesn't feel like she fucked everything up because she didn't. She's tried so hard to make everything work. It wasn't working. "I came her on my own accord. I fucked shit up on my own accord. I was there for you thar day on my own accord. Even though I know you better than anyone else, I did it to myself."

Laughter has never sounded so bitter. He likes her laugh; he likes the way her laugh makes him feel as if he's met an angel on this forsaken earth. He likes the idea of there being some greater hope in this stupid hell. She's the greater hope, but her light is dimming. He's cutting her wings every time he embraces her with those scissor-like hands. It's him.

He's finally realising it's all him when it's just a minute too late. But there's nothing to know anymore. Nobody to trust. What is she to him? The question lingers in his mind over again. He doesn't really know how much he feels, but he knows one thing. He fucking loves her. Loves her a little too late, but at least he loves her.

Even when she looks at him like she's never known him. "I cry a lot with you, you know?" She mutters out as he stares at her. He doesn't even blink as if he can't bear to focus on anything else for even a second. "I used to think it was because I was comfortable around you." She sucks up a breath that he hates she was holding. "But I think it's because you always make me cry."

Now that the words are spilt, he can't desperately try to clean up water soaked in sand. It dampes and sticks to you like a curse. He realizes it now. He realizes how he treated her and he hates himself for it. He hates himself even more when he lets her walk out. She fought, cried, waited for him, and he couldn't even just grab her hand.

Heavens knows he wanted to. "Shit."
He screams.

—☆—
Chapter end

Giggles bc I'm trynna like finish this book soon too (it will notnbe as long as my other fics, bc I'm planning another 1 but like shhh)

Eat well, sleep well, and hydrate. You're all so pretty raah, stay safe! Love you !