6. Too dumb

627 34 16
                                    

—★—
When I was young, I thought the world of you. I was dumb to let you drift away.
—★—

She still remembers it. So clearly. The faint sensation of his skin everywhere she goes. She still thinks of him whenever she breathes. Michael. She visited him when she could, but when he got out of prison, he was gone. She never saw her boy again. She hated the universe for it. She hated her young self for letting him drift away.

Because even now, the holidays were dull without him by her side. She had so much of everything but none of him. No blonde boy to hold so closely. She knew that maybe it was good for him. It was good for him to see the world without her. However, she could have shown it to him. She wanted to be the world that he saw. She wanted to be his only.

He was her only. She was in need of him again. As the time passed by without him, her life grew bland. Everyone's voices drowned out with every word that they uttered. It seemed pointless. Whether it was having the best grades or going to the best parties, it wasn't enough to cure her. It wasn't enough to bandage her wounds like she did for Michael. She wondered if he was treated right wherever she went.

Even the heavens knew of her isolation. The world around her slowly sinking as she searched the depths of heaven and hell for him. If he was not with her, then why? Why was anything even there? All the time she spend holding him in her arms. Just the feeling of his skin was enough to bring joy to her heart. But now she did not so much as see his face. It didn't feel right.

She knew it didn't feel right. "Nikita, focus." The teacher called out as her head faced the window. "If you don't want to pay attention, answer this question." But her eyes did not stay away from the clouds. But when she did, it was almost dead. Her gaze boring into the teacher's eyes with a flame he didn't know she had. Because the absence of her boy had killed her. In so many ways she couldn't imagine.

Will you? Will you hold me closer? She thought. She wondered everyday, every second, every hour, every minute, every month, everytime. Her legs standing up straight as she walked. The question was answered without much thought. The laughing whispers of her classmates filled the room. She didn't care.

She saw no need to care for anyone but him. Because nobody loved her like he did. And there was nobody she loved like him. Nobody who cured her heart from the dullness she faced. Nobody who did things to her the way he would. Was he happy? Was he happier than her? Did he even remember her? Had he forgotten all those times in which she held him closely?

Had he forgotten when he was treated with a kindness so foreign by a mere stranger? Had he forgotten the love she had showed him all through his time? She hoped he hadn't. She knew she wouldn't. She knew he wouldn't. She hoped. She pretended to know because it made it less pathetic to be so hung up. "Are you okay?" Someone asked her. She had heard it so much, but it was strange.

Nothing seemed to comfort her other than the memory of his voice. Did he still wear the perfume? Did he even remember the scent? Was he living lavishly that he could use it regularly? She wanted to know everything about him. She really did. She wanted to feel him again. Hear stories about him like she should have. She never really paid attention to football.

Until she saw him. His beautiful face bright on that screen. A German prodigy. She raised that prodigy. His hair was blue now. She sighed. He was amazing. He was living life like she wanted him to. She just didn't want it to be without her. She didn't know how to bear it. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know where to go.

All she did know was that he was just out of reach. But Nikita was willing to fall through the depths of hell and run through she scorching sun as she burned if it meant she got to feel him again. All for that one last taste. Thankfully, the universe worked in miraculous ways. And by that, it was making her number neighbours with Noel Noa. And for that, she would be forever grateful.

—★—
Chapter end.

Didn't realize it was late because omg. I'm so sorry I really am. But here you go. I kinda like this chapter. It will get more chatficcy from here on out though.  Maybe not next Chapter because of the wattpad bug, but the second it's fixed, it will.

Love u guys, stay safe. Eat well, sleep well and hydrate. Just remember, I'll be the elixir to fix you up always.

𝐋𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍 𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐏𝐒. Michael Kaiser Where stories live. Discover now