Abominations for Solutions

Why Do This

"Now what did I tell you, Gradi? He wasn't going to stay. The two of them don't care about us... the only thing they care about is their petty truce, or whatever." Paperjam was currently sitting at the edge of his bed; he'd just propped Gradient against the headboard, his legs all sprawled out. His back facing away from his brother, PJ trailed his left index finger along his right, noting when each color segment started and ended, over and over. "I want you to stop being so stupid." PJ immediately flinched at the poor word usage, knowing that Gradient was in a very vulnerable place right now. He always got like this, whenever Ink would come and leave, leaving Gradient in a deflated state of betrayal. "I- didn't mean-"

"No!" Gradient wheezed. By the sound of the rusting sheets behind PJ's back, he could tell Grady had shaken from his relaxed position and scooted closer.

"It- I'm stupid? No, this whole thing is stupid!" Gradient honestly felt pretty stupid on the inside, though. His voice was all glitchy again and he looked and sounded like a bawling toddler. He picked himself up again and scooted closer to PJ, so now the two of them were side by side. The soft electric buzz pricked against PJ's clothes, making the threads stand on end.

Gradient turned to catch a glimpse of the side of PJ's face, which displayed a confused mix of anxious anticipation and thoughtfulness. He so badly wanted some kind of reaction from him, some kind of confirmation of hope, but there was nothing on the outside that gave Gradient satisfaction. But Gradient knew that oceans of thoughts existed inside PJ's mind. He had the power to keep those helpless words hidden, swallow them whole without feeling out of control or pent up.

He wished he could be like that.

This jealousness and pang of loneliness stung Gradient's heart, forcing more intense sobs to well up into his chest. "You think I'm stupid, but PJ I can't live, let alone survive here, I need something more, ok! I'm done. I'm done but I can't be done! We're trapped. That's it. PJ please-"

"Yeah, like this is a new realization," Paperjam retorted, interrupting Gradient's wavering voice and crossing his arms. "It took you this long to realize that we're trapped. Huh."

"I don't want to-"

"Quit crying Gradient."

"I-I want to be-"

"Just stop! Gradient!" Paperjam's voice developed a cutting edge.

"I'm so ugly!"

"What? How's that even relevant?"

"I'm stupid! Just a stupid crybaby that means nothing!"

"I'm a mistake!" Gradient elevated his head upward, gasping for air.

"I want to see him again! I want to leave! I want so many things, PJ! I want to be free!"

Everything came in long torrents of nearly indecipherable speech, distorted by high pitched ringing glitches and soggy sobs. Until the sobs subsided to silent chokes and sniffs.

"I just wanted to be like you."

"Eee!" Gradient shrieked as firm hands placed themselves on his shoulders and he felt his entire body ripped from the blankets that had wound around him. His body was now square in front of Paperjam, every one of his limbs on the verge of glitching out.

"Quit! Just quit!" PJ's teeth were clenched across his face, his typically composed eyes displaying an alarming shade of deep magenta. "Quit thinking about them! Because it's as sure as hell they aren't thinking about you! Quit thinking about escaping! Quit thinking about this perfect world that you want to establish here! Or anywhere! Quit thinking that something is out there looking after us, waiting for us!" Paperjam gripped Gradient's shoulders harder, drawing fearful tears from the smaller skeleton's eyes. "You know, we are mistakes. But it isn't a mistake that we are trapped here, it was intentional! We will live here for eternity until we are dead! Counting down those days when he, that glitched ass bastard does snap! When you feel those strings winding around your soul and a moment later you're dead."