𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 | spencer agnew

5. birthday, part two

♫  heaven knows i'm miserable now - the smiths

❝ i was happy in the haze of a drunken hour

but heaven knows i'm miserable now ❞

♫  everyone adores you (at least i do) - matt maltese

❝ you can act all shy

but you know that i want you ❞

--

gracie finds her way out of the bar with her phone still buzzing in her hand. she sits down on the edge of the empty sidewalk, the cool night air raising goosebumps on her skin. she answers the call, which raises more.

"hello?"

"happy birthday, gracie bug." the voice on the other end says.

she inhales sharply. "hi jamie. i wasn't expecting a call, i didn't think you had service out there." not only was she not expecting a call, she didn't want a call. despite her reaching out to jamie multiple times and having him ignore her, she felt pretty peaceful this week. unbothered, very demure, very mindful.

he snorts. "why would you not hear from me? do you really think i wouldn't call you on your birthday?" there he goes, making her feel small again. did she really miss this?

"i just..." she fidgets with a pebble on the ground, feeling its smooth surface between her fingers. "we haven't spoken since you left last weekend." the other end of the call is silent. "i mean, i saw that you read my texts. i'm sorry if i bothered you."

this is a horrible conversation to be having while drunk, but even sober gracie would apologize to him for something that isn't her fault.

"you could never bother me, baby. i found service in the mountains for you, so you can't say i never did anything nice." he smiles at his joke through the phone, but gracie is not entertained.

"well... thanks."

"you're very welcome."

a lone car drives by, thankfully filling the awkward air. if she were sober, she wouldn't allow the conversation to be awkward; she would be asking him how the trip is going, or how his family is. but drunk gracie simply doesn't care. all she can remember is how she cried on her couch for hours after he left last weekend, feeling completely out of control.

"what's that noise? where are you?" jamie's distressed voice interrupts her ruminating.

gracie pauses, wondering if he can hear her thoughts, then remembering she is inebriated and that would be insane. "oh, a car just went by. you'll never guess where i am!" she smiles at the thought.

"ugh, can you just tell me?" his eye roll is almost audible.

"jamie, please guess. i'm the birthday girl."

"gracie, come on."

she feels a pang of embarrassment but stifles it so she doesn't start crying. "i'm sitting on the sidewalk outside of a bar because my friends planned a party for me."

"wow, that sounds like a lot of work. are you drunk?"

she nods in response, then realizes he can't see her. "yes i am!"