a reason to smile // seo changbin

chapter eleven

weekend plans

happy halloween 😈😈

moon jieun - friday

"hey, jieun!" changbin calls out, jogging slightly to catch up with me. "you okay? you sort of disappeared yesterday." he chuckles. i had figured that maybe jisung would have told them that left, but maybe not.

"yeah, i just wasn't feeling to well, so i went home early." i tell him. he frowns at that response, looking around before pulling me gently to the side, in a bit more secluded area.

"jisung said you might be feeling a little suffocated around all of us." he tells me, brows furrowed with concern.

"no, it's fine, you guys are cool." i tell him, ignoring the strange feeling i got just from saying those words.

"hey," he pouts. "don't lie to me, i gave you my hand warmer." he teases. i sigh, hating the fact that jisung's words were becoming a constant echo in my mind.

"...with the last girl he liked."

as if implying that he liked me. but that couldn't be right, it didn't make any sense. changbin hardly knew me.

"i mean... it's just a little new to me. before you guys, i never really talked to anyone here." i explain.

"if you need us to give you some space, we can do that."

"i mean that—" i pause, choosing my next words carefully. "that might help, actually." the honest answer shocked even myself. a strange feeling to be able to be honest with someone about such a thing. especially growing up in a house where it was normal to suppress your feelings and put up an act for the people around you. in fact, it was expected. it was as if everything i knew was flipping upside down.

"done." he nods. "i assume this means you're gonna skip out on the party?"

"probably..." i nod.

"how do you feel about ice cream?" he asks, completely changing the topic.

"um... it's good... why?" i ask.

"ice cream sounds better than a frat party." he winks.

"oh— changbin, you don't have to miss the party for me." the words felt foreign leaving my lips. someone doing something for me? i scoff. "you should still go, all your friends will be there." i encourage.

"i see them every weekend. sometimes every day." he chuckles. "plus, ice cream in the snow is just unbeatable." i couldn't help but laugh a little, changbin's usual smile instantly growing wider. "you have a pretty laugh." he compliments, not missing a beat. surprisingly, i feel myself blush slightly.

"thanks..."

"changbin! class in two minutes!" our heads whirl around to see jisung practically sprinting down the courtyard as he runs to class. i turn my head back to see changbin with slightly widened eyes.

"shit— i didn't mean to make you late." he stumbles, checking the time on his phone.

"it's okay, i don't mind." i wave him off. it was clear that he cared a little bit more about punctuality than i did. "go, i'll see you around." i tell him with a slight chuckle, his bright smile returning once again.

"will you meet me back here after class?" he asks.

"sure." i respond without a second thought.

"great, see you in an hour." and with that, he takes off, trying to catch up to jisung who was now yanking open the door to the class building. and again, i couldn't help but let out a small chuckle, shaking my head as i make my way to my own class.

-

felix was studiously taking notes, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth in focus, writing down whatever was coming out of mr. lee's mouth. i couldn't bring myself to pay attention. nothing unusual for me, but instead of counting down my minutes to freedom, i was trying to come up with ways to talk to felix.

nervously tapping my pencil against the desk, continuously glancing over to the boy in question. just one thing on my mind, changbin. i'd never hung out with anyone at school, let alone outside of it, and changbin wanted to meet for ice cream. truthfully, i had no idea how to go about it. but asking felix for help seemed like the most embarrassing thing ever.

"did you change your mind about my notes?" felix whispers, catching me off guard.

"what? no." i reply.

"then why are you staring at me?" he questions, not in a rude way, more of a curious one.

"i um... i just have a question..." i trail off, hoping that maybe he'd just laugh it off. wishful thinking.

"ask away." he shrugs, still writing his notes.

"well i don't exactly know how to ask..." i stall, hoping to buy a bit more time. maybe i could convince him it wasn't important.

"just go for it, if i have more questions for clarification i'll let you know." he chuckles casually. i frown, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"um... how would you personally prepare for a... a hang out?"

"like an outing with friends?" he asks.

"yeah..." i nod.

"well it depends on what the plan is."

"ice cream."

"is that all?"

"i think so." my mind quickly running off, hoping that that's all changbin wanted to do. i wasn't sure if i could prepare for much else. felix smirks for a moment, but the expression was gone as quick as it came.

"i would make sure that i had dinner first, ice cream on an empty stomach isn't good for you. but other than that i would just dress casually." he explains. i felt as if i needed to take notes. "maybe a little warmer than usual since it's cold right now." he adds.

"okay." i nod, taking in all the information.

"so who's getting ice cream?" he asks, eyebrows raised. i sat in silence for a moment, debating if i should tell him or not.

"it was just hypothetical..." i wave him off.

"ah." he nods, his expression letting me know that he definitely wasn't convinced, but that he wouldn't press any further. i almost felt bad, as if i was keeping a secret from him. but i figured if he didn't hear it from me, changbin would eventually tell him.

i will still finding it hard to come to terms with the fact that someone actually wanted to hang out with me, and was willing to miss hanging out with his usual friends to do so.

i was practically praying that i wouldn't do anything to mess it up.