a reason to smile // seo changbin

chapter one

disappointment

moon jieun - tuesday

"ms. moon," my professor shakes his head at me, placing a paper face-side down on my desk. "stay after class, i'd like to have a chat." he adds, glaring at me. i pull my lips into a thin line, nodding. once he walks away i take the opportunity to flip the paper over.

another failed test. i give no visual reaction to the familiar 'f' slapped at the top of the paper. i shove the paper into my bag without another thought. i listen to my classmates chatter about how they scored higher than they thought they would. i have to bite back laughter. did they really think any of this mattered?

i couldn't exactly pinpoint when it happened, but somewhere along the line of my life, i stopped caring. absolutely nothing mattered. especially a letter of the alphabet roughly scribbled on the top of some mutilated tree. after a long five minutes of everyone going over their test scores, the professor dismissed class.

i remained in my seat, staring blankly at my professor as he scowls at me. he motions for me to come to his desk once all of the other students had gone. i hold in a groan, lifting my bag off the ground and slinging it over my shoulder before heading to his desk.

"i'm worried about you." he states bluntly. i stare at him awkwardly, unsure of how to respond to that. lot's of people seemed to be worried about me these days. "i want to refer you to a tutor-"

"i won't go." i cut him off. he sighs.

"how about the school's free counseling?" he asks. i hold back laughter.

"wouldn't go to that either." i shrug.

"what if i make you a deal?" i really didn't care about this supposed 'deal', but he sounded desperate, so i thought i'd humor him.

"go on." i tell him.

"go to five counseling sessions. if you go to at least five, i'll guarantee that you pass this class." he cocks an eyebrow. i could truly care less about passing this class, i was half hoping i wouldn't even be around for the end of the semester.

"just five?" i continue to humor him anyways.

"just five. after that, it'll be up to you to keep going or not." he states. i laugh slightly.

"i definitely won't keep going, but i guess i can do five." i tell him. i swear he smiled so brightly that my eyes began to hurt. what is there to be that happy about?

"great! hang on let me call down-"

"i have to go now?" i furrow my brows.

"they have an opening every tuesday at this time, and well... today is tuesday." he nods, picking up the phone. i roll my eyes. "mrs. cho! yes moon jieun will be coming to see you... yes she agreed to the terms... wonderful, thank you." he hangs up. i cock and eyebrow at him. had this been planned?

"was this a planned thing?" i ask, voicing my thoughts. i found it pointless to hold things back these days.

"yes, a lot of the teachers are worried for you ms. moon. we only want what's best for you." he smiles at me. i scoff.