Lost Bets

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"Let me ride on the wall of death. One more time."

I listen to some people perform with guitars as I walk by them. I stop on the outskirts of the group, kicking some rocks with my foot as I watch them. It was two men and a woman all siting next to each other, a small fire laid out right in front of them. Their soft voices along with the crackling of the fire gave some peace in the crowded parking lot. I couldn't help but pick up the camera around my neck and take some photos of them. The soft light of the fire was the perfect light as I snapped some photos of them, completely oblivious to me. That was until I met the eyes of the older woman. She smiled at me, causing me to smile back, before she continued her performance with the men.

"Dylan?"

I feel the camera leave my hands, dropping against my chest. I take a few deep breaths before standing up and turning around, meeting those familiar brown eyes. Kate stood there just as frozen as I was. She seemed almost scared to see me, which annoyed me. She didn't get to feel like that. Not when she disappeared like she did.

"You gonna stand there looking like you seen a ghost, or are you going to greet your cousin?" I taunted, hiding the hurt that I felt with anger. Anger was the better of the emotions, in my opinion. At least I didn't cry when I was mad.

She made the first step towards me, knocking me out of my mind. She inched forward until she was standing right in front of me. She hesitated but eventually wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a hug. It took me a second before I hugged her back. I didn't think she would hug me. She didn't even hug me when she left for New York. Aunt Cathy and I just dropped her off. She didn't really give either one of us a proper goodbye, but at least Aunt Cathy got a hug.

"I missed you." She mumbled as we pulled away from each other. My stomach dropped as I watched her blink away tears. As much as she hurt me, I don't want her to be hurt. I feel torn on what to say. A part of me wants to hurt her just a fraction of the pain she caused me, but the other part just wants to forget what she had done. Neither of those options feel right though. 

"Those thousands of unanswered texts paint a different picture, Kate." 

Her shoulders dropped in what I could only assume were sorrow. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" I scoff. "You ignored me for 5 years, and the only thing you say is sorry?"

"I know it doesn't cut it-" Kate started, but I cut her off.

"No shit it doesn't cut it. I don't know what hurts more. The fact that you've forgotten about my existence, or the fact that the only reason you're hear is because Javi asked you to. What about all of the times that I asked you to? All the times I begged you?"

"That's not the only reason." She spoke up. I watch a few stray tears fall down her face. I'm sure mine matched hers. I grabbed my sleeves and wiped at my face. I hated crying. I hated showing emotions. They hurt. If I could keep them locked away, then they couldn't hurt me.

"You finally came to see your mom?" I ask. Just like her lack of communication with me, she also didn't communicate with her mother that much. I still did. We talked at least once a week. 

"I came to see you." She answered. My jaw slacked at her answer. After all this time, now she decides to come and see me. 

"So 5 years is the breaking point, huh?"

"Dylan, please-"

"Don't Dylan please me." I interrupt her again. "You don't get to do this. You don't get to walk out of my life and ignore me for 5 years before deciding that you've finally had enough and walk right back it. That's not fair."  I watch her stand there for a few moments. Her mouth opened and closed like she couldn't find the words to say. I decided to save her the trouble. "Well, at least you can say that you saw me." 

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