aab e hayat ( English version)

chapter no 7

He arrived at around nine-thirty, and at the sound of the doorbell, she became uncontrollably nervous. Despite herself, she was apprehensive about Salar's family's reaction. Even as neighbors, there was a lot of formality between the two families, and subsequent events had only ended that formality. She remembered a phone conversation with Sikandar Usman from several years ago, and perhaps her apprehensions stemmed from that call.

As she opened the main door, she realized that her hands were trembling. Sikandar Usman and the other two individuals greeted her warmly. The brusqueness and hostility she was searching for in their behavior were not immediately apparent. Imama's nervousness diminished somewhat. During the dinner at Furqan's house, her nervousness was reduced even further.

Anita and Tayyaba continued to chat with Noshin and her in a very friendly manner. Although Noshin and Furqan had met Salar's parents before, it was the first time Noshin had met Anita, and their conversation was primarily about their children. She listened to their discussions with a serene, quiet demeanor.

 She did not want her marriage or her self to become the topic of conversation in Furqan's house. After returning to her apartment, Sikandar and Tayyaba spoke to her in the sitting room for the first time. It was then that Imama sensed the underlying concern in their tone, which reflected their reaction to Imama's family. Her confidence disappeared once again. Although they did not openly discuss Hashim Mubeen or his family in front of Imama, they now wanted to hold the walima function in Lahore instead of Islamabad.

 She wanted to hear Salar's opinion, but he remained silent during the conversation. As the periods of silence during the discussion increased, Imama suddenly realized that she was the reason for the growing awkwardness in the conversation. The four of them were not speaking openly because of her.

"Just go to sleep, dear; you'll need to wake up for sehri. We'll sit here a little longer," Sikandar Usman had said immediately as an excuse to get her to sleep. She got up and went to her room. Falling asleep was very difficult. The concerns she had not even thought about two days ago now occupied her mind.

It was assumed that Sikandar and Usman wanted to keep their marriage secret so that his family would not find out about it. She sat on her bed for a long time, thinking about the dangers and threats they were feeling. For the first time, sitting alone there, she considered how great a risk Salar had taken by marrying her. Whoever married her would inevitably make themselves somewhat unsafe, but the situation was even worse in Salar Sikandar's case because there was a higher chance of the relationship being exposed. 

They could only do so much... She thought, "Neither I nor Salar would ever be killed." She still had blind faith that, somewhere, his family would surely show some consideration. At most, they would try to forcibly take her away and then seek a divorce from Salar and marry her off somewhere else.

Her anxiety suddenly increased. Perhaps things were not as straightforward as she had been understanding or trying to understand. It wasn't just a matter of getting married of her own will; it was a matter of changing religion. She felt a tightness in her stomach and sat back down on the bed. For the first time, marrying Salar seemed like a mistake. She found herself once again standing at the same precipice she had been avoiding for so many years.

In her dream, they were tying ropes around her wrists and dragging her. The ropes were tied so tightly that blood started to ooze from her veins, and with every jolt, she uncontrollably screamed in pain. She was being dragged through a crowd in a market like a prisoner. People on both sides were laughing loudly and shouting at her. Then, one of the men among them, who was pulling the ropes on her wrists, jerked the rope with all his strength. She fell to her knees on the rough stone path.