aab e hayat ( English version)

chapter no 23

The impact and outcome of death on a person, and how it can turn someone to dust in an instant, is something that no one asks the Imam about. The deaths of Waseem and Saad had shown him that death is simply death, and the pain it causes is not unlike any other suffering. Even drinking the Water of Life cannot prevent one's death, and how can one stop those who are dearer than life itself from leaving? 

She was in New York at the time. Her first child was about to be born, and she was on cloud nine, expecting to receive paradise beneath her feet. The blessings were innumerable. It was the third month of her pregnancy when one night Salar had woken her from her sleep. She didn't understand what he was trying to convey by waking her up, and perhaps Salar himself was in the same state of confusion, not knowing how to break such devastating news.

Previously, Sikandar Usman and he had discussed whether they should inform Imam or keep it from her under these circumstances. Sikandar Usman believed that Imam should not be told, but Salar decided that he could not keep such grave news from her and subject her to lifelong sorrow. She was already in touch with Waseem through phone and messages, so it was impossible for her not to receive news about him within a day.

 Both Waseem and Saad had died in a shooting at a Qadiani place of worship, like many others. Imam had seen this news a few hours earlier on a Pakistani channel. She was deeply saddened as a human being by this loss, but she couldn't have imagined that her two close ones were among the victims. How could she have suspected it? It was not a place of worship in Islamabad; it was in another city. How could Saad and Waseem have reached there, and Waseem seldom went to his place of worship?

For several hours, she sat there in silence, shedding tears without answering any of Salar's questions, as if she were a block of ice rather than a human being. And not just a block of ice, but like a wall of sand that had collapsed. She felt that she would never be able to move her finger again, stand on her feet, breathe, or live. No one leaves like this, seeing her condition made Salar intensely regretful, realizing the grave mistake he had made by not listening to Sikandar Usman. He had called a doctor's cousin to see her at home. What happened after that, Imam did not remember clearly. Salar remembered every moment. 

He had seen her reach the edge of madness and then return from there for weeks. When she was silent, she would remain silent for days, as if she were not present in the house. She would spend hours cooking. When she slept, she would keep her eyes shut for the entire day and night, and when awake, she would walk between the lounge and the bedroom for days, causing her feet to swell. It was nothing short of a miracle that even in this mental state and condition, Jibreel had not suffered any harm. It was as if she was neglecting the fact that another life was growing inside her. When her mind would escape her memories, she would feel her body. And when there was any deficiency, she would ask Salar to take her to Pakistan. 

She wanted to go to her home. Salar had not asked her which home she was referring to. She quietly arranged two tickets for herself. "I need to go to Islamabad," she said when asked by Salar. Salar did not argue; if her family's meeting with her would have normalized her, he would have gone to any extent for that meeting.

Hashim Mubeen was their neighbor, and Salar Sikandar's family was not unaware of the catastrophe at Hashim Mubeen's house. They had gone to offer condolences to Hashim Mubeen's house along with many others. Despite the mourning, Hashim Mubeen had accepted their condolences with extreme coldness. 

Sikandar Usman had not expected to meet Imam. He had certainly mentioned his hardships to Salar, but the condition in which he saw Imam did not prevent Salar from attempting. Hashim Mubeen had not only refused to speak to Sikandar Usman over the phone but also had not allowed Salar to enter his house through the gate. Sikandar Usman and he returned in a state of despair. Salar was helpless before him, but it was the first time he had not surrendered to Imam. He had not even attempted to take Imam to his house. "If you want to go home, you must first talk to your father.