aab e hayat ( English version)

chapter no 28

Salar had closed the email. If Ibaka had shared something important, that email would have disappeared from his inbox. But instead, the email had only increased the weight on his heart. The imbalance he felt on the scales of his life had grown even more severe. 

He spent the entire night pleading with Allah for relief from his trials... for guidance along the straight path that he had wandered away from and for exemption from those who faced Allah's wrath. Somewhere, he was also afraid that he was inviting Allah's punishment, and the trials of family, children, and wealth had become unbearable.

At dawn, he remembered Dr. Sibt-e-Ali, not just remembered, but as if he was compelled to seek him out. He had managed to get an emergency ticket and traveled to Pakistan the very next night. Dr. Sibt-e-Ali received him as warmly as ever, though with surprise. It had been many years since Salar had come to him in such an urgent manner. The doctor inquired about everyone's well-being, "How is Imama?"

"Fine," Salar replied, as always, sitting alone in the doctor's study with his head bowed.

"How is Jibreel?"

"He's fine too."

"And Inaya?"

"She's fine."

"And Hameen?"

"He's fine as well." He continued to recount details with his head lowered. After a long silence, Dr. Sibt-e-Ali asked softly, "And you?"

"No, I am not fine." This time, Salar raised his head and began to cry uncontrollably, like a child. The doctor watched him, witnessing his breakdown for the first time.

"I've sinned, Doctor Sahib!" he said, rubbing his face with both hands while weeping. Dr. Sibt-e-Ali said nothing, just looked at him. After a moment, he said, "Don't tell me, Salar."

"I came here to tell you," Salar said in surprise.

"What will I do with knowing your sin? I have seen people like you in regret before; it's better to keep it between yourself and Allah. What is concealed should remain concealed; Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. He has the power to forgive and does forgive His servants."

Dr. Sibt-e-Ali explained patiently as always. "I can't end my misguided ways without confessing. You have no idea how dark my situation is. The darkness keeps growing, and I'm terrified of it," Salar said, showing his helplessness.

Dr. Sibt-e-Ali had never seen him in such despair before. He had always come to him during difficulties, but never in such a state of utter helplessness.

"I have chosen interest-based income and broken Allah's limits, and now one problem after another keeps coming. I don't know what to do," Salar continued crying.

"Repent and abandon that income," Dr. Sibt-e-Ali suggested effortlessly.

"It's easy to say but not easy to get out of this mire," Salar replied.

"There is nothing easy in this world. But things can be made possible," the doctor said.

"I am 37 years old. In ten years of my life, I have worked in the best financial institutions in the world. All my income is from interest, including what I've spent on myself and others. Even the income I use to support my family is from interest. I don't understand what I should do now," Salar confessed.

Dr. Sibt-e-Ali interrupted him, "After all these years, why have you realized now that your income is haram?"

"Because I have no peace. Something seems wrong in my life. I feel maybe my income is causing my trials," Salar admitted, feeling the weight of his words.