Surviving

Chapter 15

It was a week before you saw Koba again. The food he had left lasted 3 days, you not expecting the need to ration it. On the 4th day you began to worry something had happened to him and had hobbled a little way out the hut before your wounds screamed in agony and your vision started turning hazy. On the 5th day you decided he had left you to die, deciding you weren’t worth the effort to keep alive. The 6th day your wounds had started to throb horribly, hot and itchy and you knew they were starting to become infected. You lay in your cot, alternatively shivering and sweating. In your near-delirious state you barely blinked at the dark figure that came to sit by your bedside. Only stirring when a calloused hand pushed your sweat-slicked hair from your face.

“Koba you asshole” you slurred, “Why did you leave me?” A small huff of laughter sounded.
“Not Koba” Caesar said, his gruff voice sounding amused. You blinked, suddenly a lot more alert.

“Caesar?” you asked, your voice breaking as you face crumpled, tears trickling down your cheeks with the suddenness of a dam being unleashed. You reached out your arms and were immediately caught into a gentle hug. You clutched at the fur on his back desperately, willing this to be real and not some pre-death hallucination. “I thought I’d never see you again” you whimpered. His arms tightened on you fractionally, cautious of your injuries.

“I believed the same” he murmured back, his voice slightly unsteady. You clung to each other for a moment or an eternity as time went liquid with harsh sobbing breaths and trembling forms. The moment was broken as Caesar, so quiet till that point, let loose a broken noise against your head and slowly pulled away. You clung to him fiercely for a moment before releasing him, your heart breaking from his obvious distress. Can an ape cry?

“I brought food” he said, his voice strained with emotions. At the mention of food, your stomach breaks the gentle moment, grumbling like and angry bear. Caesar huffs with laughter as you blush brightly. He lopes over to a bag he had left by the door, pulling out an assortment of fruit and making his way back towards you. He slides a gentle hand behind your neck, easing you up into a sitting position and bringing a piece of fruit to your mouth.

“Eat” he murmurs, and you obey, the sweet tartness bursting across your tongue as you groan in appreciation. Your stomach cramped in hunger and suddenly you were wolfing down everything that came near your face. Caesar watched with a slightly bemused expression, nearly loosing fingers as he attempted to feed you. Finally you were full and lay back down with a sigh of relief. You turned your head to the side to watch as Caesar began to pack what was left back into the bag. A jolt of fear shot through you as you realised he was leaving and you attempted to sit up, reaching a desperate hand out to him.

“Please” you whimpered, hating your vulnerability but unable to resign yourself to another long lonely night. “Please stay” His head snapped towards you, his expression searching, brows drawn as he processed your request. His eyes softened as his took in the desperate fear that was no doubt etched across your face. “I don’t want to be alone again” you murmured, squeezing your eyes shut to hold back the rebelling tears. A rough hand cupped your cheek, wiping away the small bit of moisture that had escaped your lids to trickle down the side of your face.

“Okay” he murmured, pressing his forehead against yours. Your eyes snapped open at the contact and you pulled him down beside you in a surprising show of strength. His eyes widened and he stiffened for a moment before relaxing and pulling you into the cradle of his arms, holding your head against his chest. You sighed, enveloped in his comforting scent. For the first time in a while, you closed your eyes, unafraid of what lurked behind in the darkness of your mind. You knew you would be safe wrapped in his arms.

The chirping of birds woke you early the next morning and you blinked, squinting against the bright morning sun and groaning. You went to stretch and stiffened as the weight against your back let out a deep grumble. Strong arms slid around you from behind, pulling you back into a sleep-warmed body as Caesar lowered his head to snuffle against your neck. You shivered in delight, your body reacting languidly to his presence. A shock of pleasure shot through you as he opened his mouth to lip gently against your pulse point and then move further up to take your ear lobe into his mouth, sucking softly. Your sigh turned into a breathy moan and his hands clenched against your hips, pulling you further against his body, curling his much larger one up and over you. His chest rumbled in a low growl and you felt your body reacting, molten heat sliding through your veins as you submitted to his ministrations. His large hands slid slowly over your abdomen, inching towards your breasts as his touch left trails of liquid heat in his wake. You arched into him, intent on the pleasure when a low raspy growl came from the doorway.

Your eyes snapped open, fear shooting through you as peered at the dark figure. At your back, Caesar replied with a warning growl that vibrated your bones, but his hands had stilled and dropped from you. Koba stepped past the threshold, a snarl still rumbling through him as he limped to the lopsided bench in the corner of the hut and deposited first aid supplies and food onto it.

“Koba?” you question, pulling yourself into a sitting position. Your wounds tug sharply at the movement and you let out a hissing gasp, stilling in agony. Behind you, Caesar lets out a worried noise, his hands fluttering about your body restlessly, trying to soothe you. Koba turns to you with a dark glare twisting across his face and your heart sinks. Gone is the soft side you had glimpsed just a week before and in its place, one again, is pure unadulterated hatred. Your chest twists painfully at the sight. You had thought something had passed between you, an understanding at the very least, but now it seemed you were back to square one. You are confused and deeply hurt by his reaction. You have no idea why he abandoned you for the week, only to come back now with a complete opposite attitude towards you than when he left.

“Why did you leave me?” you croaked past the lump in your throat, “Why do you hate me so much?” To your annoyance, tears threatened to drip from your eyes and you hastily shoved your hands into your face. You hated crying. Koba was silent for a long time, to the point you thought he may have left in disgust. Raising your head you peered around the cabin, blinking blearily. Slowly you were able to focus on his dark form leaning against the doorway. He seemed as if he were fighting some internal battle. Slowly he turned, still not meeting your gaze and sat against the opposite wall of the cabin from you both. His hands twitched, as if he wanted to sign something but was hesitant.

“Humans bad” he signed finally. You let out a small scoff and he finally looked up, his face twitching into a grimace. Whether he was annoyed at his inability to explain himself properly or at your reaction, you weren’t sure. He huffed a breath and continued. “Born in cage” he signed, gesturing to himself. “lived in..” he trailed off, not sure how to explain, “fake jungle” he finally signed

“A zoo or some kind or research lab?” you mused. He nodded and shrugged.

“Had mother” he signed, “Humans beat her to death. Sent me to....movie place. Bad man there” his hands trembled “beat me” he gestured to his eye, his face. “He died, sent me to lab” he gestured to the prominent scar on his arm and vaguely over his body.

You sobbed out a breath, your throat tight. Caesar shifted, drawing his arms around you tighter for comfort. Your eyes were welling with tears again. You could only imagine how many scars his coarse fur hid. “Then you met Caesar?” you asked. Koba nodded, a sharp, jerky movement, without meeting your gaze. “I’m sorry” you whispered. “I’m sorry humans did that to you. I’m sorry...I remind you of that, of them” His head snapped toward you and he glared before he shut his eyes in a wince. Your eyes dropped to your hands in your lap, they were trembling slightly, a mixture of disgust, rage and sorrow burning through you, making you feel slightly nauseous. So wrapped up in your thoughts, the touch of Koba’s hand to your chin had you jerking your head up to face him, startled.

“Stupid female” he murmured, his breath hot against your tear-streaked face. “I don’t hate you” and then his lips were on yours. The kiss was gentle and clumsy in a way that seemed unpractised but sweet. The soft brush of his lips against yours sending your heart racing in disbelief. He pulled back, panting gently, and brought his forehead to rest against yours for a long moment. "Cannot hate you" he whispered, his voice raw with unspoken emotion. "Never"