Surviving

Chapter 3

The entrance to Caesars hut was dark and you hesitated in the doorway before pulling yourself together and walking in with as much confidence as you could muster. As your eyes adjusted to the gloom you could see Caesar kneeling beside his nest, placing something into it gently. "Sit" he said without turning. Glancing round the room, you could see a few logs scattered around. Choosing one, you sat down. Caesar didn't speak for a while and you began to fidget restlessly. Finally he spoke, and you jumped at the sudden noise. "Why you kill cougar?" he asked. You frowned at him.

"It was about to kill one of your apes. Can't you just be thankful instead of questioning my intentions?" you said with some heat. At this, Caesar finally turned to face you.

"Am thankful" he said "Caesar Rocket's friend. But human not. Why human save him?" This question caught you off guard and you looked at him blankly for a few seconds.

"I dunno" you said finally, your eyes dropping to the ground. "I didn't really think, just shot" At this, something unreadable flickered across his face, then it was gone, and his features curled up into a snarl.

"Human lies!" he yelled, and you flinched away from the sudden noise, scrambling to your feet as he stalked towards you. The anger that was evident on his face was terrifying and it was hard for you to conceal your fear. Suddenly you stumbled as you hit the side of the hut and in a flash, Caesar was standing over you, hand clenched loosely around the back of your neck, face millimetres from your own. "Why. Human. Save. Ape?" he asked again, each word spoken with terrifying clarity.

"I don't know" you said again, urgently "I-"

"Why?!" he yelled again, and you flinched away from him. His almost human eyes were staring into yours with a burning intensity and, you swore, a touch of sadness. He lowered his face down beside your ear and you shivered as you felt his warm breath on your neck, envisioning his sharp canines just inches from your jugular. "Why save Rocket?" he breathed and suddenly you knew why you had done it. You pressed your lips together, not wanting to admit the truth to yourself, but Caesar persisted. "Why?" he hissed, teeth grazing your neck slightly, whether accidental or on purpose you weren't sure. Your breathing grew ragged but still you refused to answer. Caesar growled low in his throat, the sound vibrating against your neck. His hand curled tighter around your neck and he pressed his body closer, his wiry fur brushing against your exposed skin. "Tell me" he said, his voice deep. His teeth nipped against the skin of your neck and you gasped in surprise. His mouth dragged up to you ear. "Tell me before I do something I may or may not regret" you shivered slightly, and you weren't completely sure if it was in fear. His mouth nuzzled your ear and your breath hitched. He huffed slightly at your reaction and you sighed, defeated.
"I saved him because I cared" you said finally, you voice broken "because for the first time in 3 years I CARED what would happen if I did nothing. Because there was something I COULD do. Someone I COULD save" Caesar had lifted his face from your neck to watch you and you lifted your head to look up at him. Tears streamed down your face and you saw sadness in his eyes, and longing. You lifted your chin slightly "So I, a human, saved an ape" Caesars eyes flickered close and he lowered his forehead to yours. He stayed like that for a while.

"Human truth" he said finally. He lifted his head from yours, looking down at you with an unfathomable expression in his green eyes. He blinked and looked away, turning his head so you couldn't see his face anymore. His hand uncurled from the back of your neck and he moved away from you. It was only when he moved away that you were suddenly aware of how close he had been, and you shivered as the warmth from his body left you. He noticed the movement, his eyes darkening as he watched you, but once again he shook his head and looked away, tamping down whatever impulse you awoke in him.
"Am sorry" he said finally "For..." You could see he was having trouble expressing what he needed to say so you spoke up.

"You can use sign language' you said, "I can understand some of it" He looked up at you in surprise and some relief. Immediately his hands began to move, and you struggled to keep up with him.

"I apologize for my actions towards you before. I simply needed to know what your intentions were towards apes. I am sorry for the methods I used to find that out"

"It's fine" you said "I can understand your concern. Human nature has never been something you should trust" He looked at you in surprise.

"You don't trust your own species?" he signed carefully. You laughed sarcastically.

"I trusted them," you said, "and look where it's got me!" He frowned slightly.

"But there are some humans you still trust, some you have feelings for other than hate?" he signed, confused.

"Yes, there were," you said bitterly "but do you see them anywhere?" Caesar sighed.

"I know what it's like to lose someone you love" he said, softly.

"I'm sure you do" you snarked "Except your species seems to be thriving while all of us die" You immediately regretted your words when his face hardened, and he took a step towards you. A fission of fear shot through you as you backed away from him. This time the anger on his face was real. It was hard, cold and utterly terrifying. With a sense of déjà vu, you once again found yourself pressed hard against the wall of the hut. Caesar loomed over you.

"You think we wanted this?" he growled, his eyes dark and terrifying "You think we wanted to become what we are now? Not human, not animal but somewhere in between" he dropped his head so that your eyes were level. "This is the work of humans. You have only yourself to blame"