Here I go again,
paranoid thoughts weaving between
the grey matter in my head
for fuck's sake
I can't make it stop
it's driving me insane
and I know,
in a while it's going to weave between my fingers
and show in my actions
but by then it will be too late
and the damage will be done
and I would have become undone
Here I go again,
no
I need to stop,
but I can't
the demons in my head are somehow always stronger
and for something so vile
they make so much sense
It doesn't make sense
but at the same time,
it's the only thing that does
Here I go again,
goddamnit
god fucking damnit
my fingers are shaking and I want to scream until my throat bleeds,
god fucking
DAMNIT
my mind won't shut up
it just won't shut up
and tomorrow morning
you'll probably find me curled in the corner
with my sanity scattered around me like the waste
from a nuclear fallout
and I'm sorry
ohmygod
I'm sorry
I'm trying to stop
but I can't
And I'm sick of you finding me
like a disaster site
every fucking time
my demons
convince me
that I'm better off dead
YOU ARE READING
Acedia
Poetry[ A c e d i a : ennui ; state of torpor or listlessness ; spiritual apathy ] Poetry attempts / Random thoughts / Musings (P.S. I'm not very good at this, don't expect too much. Thanks)
