my stars |ateez|

Doesnt matter

~Flashback~

HaJoon's POV:

Ever since the boys came into my room a couple of months ago, they've all been acting more touchy and loving towards me... I can't tell if it's because they're onto me or they just feel bad for me distancing myself from them.

I try not to react too much to the small touches but sometimes I catch myself slipping, and wishing that they meant more than how I know they do.
For example... Sometimes Yeosang takes me into his room, orders food (fried chicken) and just cuddles me all night while playing with my hair.

Another thing is San has started to give me plushies for me to take care of for him on some nights because he claims, they deserve to be loved by more than one person.

Oh and another time Wooyoung randomly started kissing on my neck while we were taking a break from practice, something about how sexy I look when I'm focused and how veiny my neck gets...

I know I might be delusional but I just can't help it, if they continue acting this way I don't know how much longer I can keep my feelings from them.Currently both Mingi and Yunho have dragged me into Yunho's room to watch a marvel movie with them.
I've always been a big marvel fan so I don't pay attention to them all too much, I'm sitting down in between where they're laying on the bed with all of my attention on the tv making me miss the pointing and head nods being directed towards me.

I hear a loud whisper making me turn to look at them with a raised eyebrow making their mouths shut, "you guys okay?" I ask while looking in between them. They quickly nod their heads as I slowly turn back to the movie... trying to block out their weird behavior.

I feel a hand placed on my chest as I'm pushed backwards so that I'm laying in between them. I tense up and glance over at the both of them who are simply watching the movie as if they didn't pull me back.

I ignore it and give the movie my attention once again when I feel a hand being placed on my thigh. I look over to see Mingi just chilling out with his hand on me but I shrug it off considering he's cuddly at times.

I suddenly feel kisses being placed on the other side of my neck making me stiffen up and slightly turn my head to look at Yunho who is focused on placing kisses on my neck. I try to get up but Mingi pushes me back down.

"It's okay Joonie" Mingi whispers before placing his lips on the other side of my neck, I sit up quickly and get off of the bed, walking out of the room to try and gather my thoughts.

"You okay Joonie?" Seonghwa says when he sees me rushing to my bedroom, I don't have it in me to respond but I throw a thumbs up as I get to my room and shut the door.
I huff and sit on the edge of my bed, putting my head in my hands. Why now? Why are they doing this? I groan and lay back in my bed when I hear a knock on my door.

I grimace as I get up to open the door,hoping that who ever is there will be quick. I open it to see Hongjoong standing there. "You okay? You walked in here really quickly, Seonghwa and I got worried" he says while walking towards me and grabbing my hands.
"Yeah I'm fine, don't worry about it" I say plainly making him take a deep breath. "Come here" he says while dragging me out into the living room where everyone is sat down. I gulp and sit down on the couch as everyone looks over at Hongjoong.

"We have something to tell you... as you have probably noticed we've all been a lot more affectionate lately more specifically with you " he says making me nod,
"it doesn't really matter... you guys have always been touchy?" I respond not understanding the point of this conversation.

"Well we've been doing it for a reason... we've noticed your reactions towards all of us" Seonghwa says making me gulp and look down. I go to talk before getting cut off by San, "we aren't here to bash you for it... in fact it's the whole reason we've been more touchy towards you" he states making me raise an eyebrow at him.

"We all think you're attractive.. and when we realized your feelings for each of us we decided that we are all open to being in a polyamorous relationship" Hongjoong continues making me whip my head over to look at him.

Noticing my confusion Wooyoung steps in, "we're not saying you have to be in a relationship with us.. but if you were to want anything from any of us... you're more than welcome! And you have time to think about it, in no way do we want to pressure you" he states making me gulp.

"Can you give me a couple of hours?" I say softly while in a lot of embarrassment, "of course baby, don't worry about us okay?" Yunho says making me nod. "I'm ordering food tonight, so text me what you guys want" Seonghwa says before leaving the room, everyone doing the same after a few minutes.

I stay there sitting there, contemplating my whole life right now. They can't be serious... can they? They said I have time to think about it. I definitely want them I just don't want there to be any drama or jealousy.

Those are all points I make sure to remember for the next conversation we all have. 'Is this really it? The time where I get to be happy?' Is all I think about before standing up and heading to my room while I wait for dinner to come.

~Time skip~

"Dinner is here" I hear Seonghwa yell from the kitchen as I hear a bunch of footsteps heading in that direction. I get up and out of bed while making sure that my tv is turned off.
I walk into the hallway and bump into Jongho who smiles at me before continuing his way into the kitchen. I follow behind him and grab my food, sitting down at the table with everyone else.

I dig into my food, finishing about half of it before deciding to save the rest for later. I look around to see everyone talking quietly, I clear my throat and look around again but this time they're all looking at me now.

"Um.. I thought about it" I say quietly making them all perk up in their seats, "I'm willing to try" I say shyly making San cheer before wrapping his arms around me making me chuckle.

"Well we obviously all want to be honest, we don't want any jealousy and if you do feel jealous we can have another one of these conversations" Hongjoing says while looking at each of us.

"Also, let's let out anything that you would be uncomfortable with! We don't want to intentionally push each other's boundaries" Seonghwa adds on.
From there we sit there for hours, just talking about what we're all comfortable with and what we expect out of the relationship.

~