Afraid of the Dark (KakaSaku)

Wonderful Nothings

Sakura woke in the middle of the night, wrapped in her comforter on the couch. Her head throbbed, her house cloaked in darkness, with only the moonlight filtering through the windows. Kakashi was gone. She scanned the room, spotting a glass of water on the coffee table and a white envelope beside it.

A tightness gripped her chest as she reached for the envelope, dreading what it might contain. With trembling hands, she opened it and pulled out a letter. In the familiar scrawl, it read:

The clock is ticking.

Two days; same amount, same time.

Drink up, sweetheart.

- H

Sakura crumpled the paper in her fist, a wave of anxiety surging through her. How could she have been so naive? She had just slept with the enemy, and now he was gone, leaving her with the same cold note as if nothing had happened. She wrapped her hands around the glass of water, lifting it to her lips. She had never felt so parched.

Sitting in the darkness, the weight of what had transpired settled over her. The self-loathing crept in, wrapping around her like a suffocating blanket. Desperate to escape her thoughts, she got up and turned on all the lights. The harsh overhead lights replaced the soft moonlight, revealing the state of her house.

Blood splatters stained the floor from Kakashi's entrance, the back door still shattered. Medical supplies were strewn across the room, empty bottles littered various surfaces, and her dress and panties lay discarded beside the couch. As she took it all in, her skin crawled with the sober realization of what she had done. The man who had been terrorizing her, the man responsible for the chaos in her life, had just been in her bed. How pathetic.

With a deep sigh, Sakura grabbed a trash bag and began to clean up. She collected her medical supplies, shoving them back into her kit and placing it under the sink. She discarded the used needles and bloody gauze, followed by the empty bottles and the forgotten trash bag filled with the remains of her shredded pillow.

She vacuumed up the glass shards from the back door and the remaining feathers in her bedroom. Next, she scrubbed the floor, using peroxide to lift the bloodstains. But she left her dress, panties, and the comforter by the couch, as if avoiding them could erase what had happened.

Finally, gathering some courage, she picked up her clothes and took them to the laundry room, re-washing the sheets along with them. Returning to her bedroom, she grabbed the comforter and made her bed, ignoring the bloodstain on the other side. Her house was spotless again, but guilt lingered in the corners.

Sakura headed to the shower, letting the hot water cascade over her exhausted body. She noticed bruises on her hips and bite marks on her neck, including a deep purple one on her shoulder. No matter how hard she scrubbed, she couldn't wash away the memory of his touch. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes as she rinsed the soap from her skin. She was alone again, the warmth and connection she had felt with Kakashi now felt like a cruel illusion. She was insane for thinking a man like him could ever feel anything at all.

Getting dressed, she crawled back into her bed and laid there. She couldn't stop thinking, her mind filtering through a million thoughts it was as if she wasn't thinking at all. She took a deep breath in, when her heart stopped. Her comforter still smelled of him, his deep musky scent enveloped her nostrils. She closed her eyes, remembering their time together. She could hide there, she thought. Before she realized that those thoughts were absurd. 

Sakura sat up in bed, trying to remind herself how bad of a guy he was. Remember the gun, the drugs, she told herself. Remember the fear. But all she could remember was how he smelled, how he felt. How he looked, how he sounded. It was all she could think about, how his muscles rippled as he ripped pure pleasure from her body, what his bare face looked like. She could only think about how attractive he really was, while all the morals in her body were telling her to run away. She wanted to run to him.