Sex Education

Don't Smile

June 1994

"I just don't want to go alright." Said Mary flatly.

Her flatmate Ruby gave her a measured look.

"But you're always playing their tape... That's why I got you the ticket. And now you don't want to go? It was really hard to get a ticket since they've blown up after that new song they put out." She said sternly.

Mary felt her heart racing. Ruby had done an incredibly kind thing. She'd been a dream flatmate. And she counted her as her best friend, yet she'd kept one thing a secret from her all this time.

They'd met in London working in the web development industry. They were pioneers. Not only was creating websites for companies in it's infancy so was women in the office, let alone working on the computers. They'd found common ground at first by simply being the only two women on their floor. But that common ground had quickly blossomed into a full-blown connection. They had similar taste in books and music. They were each other's support system as they were both originally not from London. They told each other everything, well almost everything.

"I'm tired." Mary stated pathetically.

Ruby rolled her eyes.

"You can sleep when you're dead. Come on?"

Mary nodded, feeling her whole body tremble.

"OK. Let me get ready."

Mary stood under the shower in a daze. Her breaths were coming hard and fast. She was having a panic attack at the thought of seeing Liam Gallagher again. Or worse, him seeing her. She'd stay at the back. He'd never know. It was just too much... she thought about him a lot still. Probably more than she should. Those letters she'd promised to write him she never sent them. She wrote them, but each time she got to the post box, she'd talk herself out of it.

Liam Gallagher was destined for great things he didn't need bothered with her silly letters. They hadn't written, seen, or spoken to each other since their parting on that canal when she'd been 17. She'd seen him on posters and CD sleeves. They'd released some singles. She had them all. They were all amazing. She'd watched and listened to their success, grow, and grow. Hearing his voice made her emotional. For the loss of what they'd had. She thought about what would have became of them if she'd never left. Their had been other boys but no one had ever made her feel even close to how he did. Physically or emotionally. She wondered if he'd truly meant what he said when he claimed he'd never love anyone like he'd loved her. Or of it was just something he said to ease their parting.

Ruby glanced across at her with a frown in the queue.

"Mary you sure you're alright? You look pale like you're going to faint or something?"

Mary shook her head and gave her a tight smile.

"I'm fine."

Ruby pushed and weaved through to the front barrier in the small pub venue. Mary gulped his mic stand was right in front of her. There was no way he wouldn't see her.

"I was fine at the back really. I think we should stay there easier to get a drink and get to the loo and-"

Ruby laughed.

"Mary no way! You play these guys every day. You need to be at the front. I'll get you a drink hold on-"

"No wait don't leave-I-"

Mary sighed she was already gone. The crowd starred to fill up and she felt heavily claustrophobic as the second band wrapped up their set. She'd had a few to take the edge off the situation but it had only made her nerves worse.