Logan looked out of his hotel window at the gray skies over Silverstone, still listening to the sound of Formula 1 engines echoing away from him. A few hours earlier, the race had ended, but for him, it was as if it had never really begun. Another weekend, another defeat. He felt a deep exhaustion, as if all the work, all the effort had been for nothing.
The young American had gone through the first months of the season with mixed emotions. Logan was aware that this would be his last year in F1, that he had wasted his chance... At every race, his Williams team-mate Alex had accumulated precious points for the team.
Each race seemed like an unattainable mountain, each lap a brutal reminder of his shortcomings.
He was alone in his room that evening, sitting on his bed, his head in his hands. He had tried to give everything he had, but he felt it was never enough. The reproaches were harder and harder, the uncertainties deeper and deeper. He kept repeating, "I haven't given enough", a phrase that ran through his head like a mantra of defeat.
While he was deep in thought, the door was slowly opened. Logan looked up, astonished. He had no expectations. As he opened the door, he saw Alex...
- Hey, Logan, how's it going? Alex asked, his soft voice contrasting with Logan's.
Logan shrugged, trying to smile, but to no avail. "Yeah, everything's fine." His tone was husky, and his answer came out more like a whisper.
Alex entered immediately, closing the door behind him without waiting for an invitation. He stared at Logan with an intensity that sent a shiver down Logan's spine. "Do you know you don't have to pretend with me?"
Logan heaved a sigh and collapsed onto his bed. "I know. It's just... I feel like everything I do is never enough. The car, the circumstances, whatever... I try, but I just can't seem to get it right. And you, you accomplish so much. I'm incapable of not believing that I'm an obstacle to the team."
Alex remained silent for a moment, studying the young pilot in front of him. He sat down next to him, their shoulders barely touching, but Logan felt the reassuring warmth of his presence.
"Logan, I'm not going to make you believe that F1 is difficult. It has the capacity to destroy you, to shake you out of everything you are. But watch me. I could have been in your shoes, or even worse. I was excluded, questioned, and that almost led to my destruction. What gave me the opportunity to come back was that I acquired the ability not to define myself exclusively by my results."
Logan remained silent, fighting back tears. Alex was more than just a teammate to him. For as long as he could remember, he had been seen as a role model, a role model for the rest of his life.
«But how do you manage to stay... yourself, with all this?"
Alex smiled slightly. "Because I've learned that sometimes it's not about what you haven't given, but what you're able to overcome."
Logan lowered his eyes. "But I keep asking myself if I really deserve to be here."
Alex stared at him, then gently placed her hand on his. "You're here because you've proven you deserve it. And you're not alone in this."
Logan felt his throat knot. The words he wanted to say stuck, too heavy with meaning. Since joining the team, Alex had been more than a teammate to him. He'd become a close friend, a constant support, and, even if he wouldn't admit it out loud, Logan felt something deeper for him.
"You know, Logan," Alex continued, in a softer voice, "I think you're a lot stronger than you think. And I want you to know that whatever the situation, I'm here for you. Not just as your teammate."
Alex approached the young American, catching his questioning gaze.
Alex's face broke into a slight smile, at once shy and determined. I didn't want to tell you in this context, but... I'm very attached to you".
Logan's heart skipped a beat. He'd imagined this moment dozens of times in his head, never quite believing it. "Alex... are you serious?"
Alex nodded. "Yes, Logan. I think I love you. And it kills me to see you doubting yourself like this. You're more than you think, more than the results show."
Emotions washed over Logan like a wave. Everything he'd held inside - all the fears, all the doubts, but also that deep affection for Alex - exploded in a flood of words he could no longer control. "I... I think I love you too, Alex. I have for a long time. But I didn't know how to tell you, or if it was mutual..."
A silence fell between them, but it was a comfortable silence, full of understanding and new promises. Alex leaned forward slightly, and before Logan could think, their lips found each other, a soft, comforting kiss, sealing a truth neither of them yet dared fully believe.
A/N
Here a new chapter, hope you like it 💕🫶🏼
