Lost and Found • mikhaiah au

26. The Breaking Point

Agnes dragged herself out of the pool, every movement feeling like an exertion of effort and will. Her body ached from the relentless laps she'd pushed herself through, but it was her heart that was heavy with a deeper burden.

The water, once her sanctuary, now seemed to mock her with its embrace as she climbed onto the deck.

Colleen approached with a frown etched on her face. "Okay ka lang ba?" she asked, her concern evident. "Your stats aren't looking great. You're behind your usual records. Is something bothering you?"

Agnes' heart sank further as she thought about the doubts that had consumed her.

The past three days had been a whirlwind of avoidance and guilt. She had been intentionally distant from Maiko, her responses to Maiko's messages growing later and more curt with each passing day. She declined every invitation and avoided spending time together, fabricating excuses that left her feeling even more ashamed.

The lies had become a barrier between them, and the weight of them was pressing down on her, reflecting in her bad performance.

Each lie felt like another chain binding her to her confusion and uncertainty, pushing her further away from Maiko, and further from who she wanted to be. It wasn't just the physical exertion that was dragging her down—it was the emotional battles that was eroding her from within.

"Sorry, Coach," Agnes said, her voice barely more than a whisper. Her eyes were glassy, struggling to hold back tears. "I've just got a lot on my mind. I promise I'll try to do better."

Colleen's eyes softened, as she placed a gentle hand on Agnes' shoulder, "I get it. Sige na, let's call it a day. Wash off, take a break. Give yourself some time to figure things out."

Agnes nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat. She felt a fresh wave of despair over her as she headed toward the showers. The tears she had been holding back finally began to fall, mingling with the water as she stood under the spray.

Each droplet seemed to amplify the agony she felt inside. She was drowning not in the pool, but in her own spiraling doubts and fears.

The cool water did little to soothe the storm raging inside her. Her sobs came in silent, shuddering waves, each breath a struggle. The droplets mingled with her tears, but they did nothing to wash away the ache in her heart.

All she could think about was Maiko. The very thought of her brought a pang of longing and regret so sharp it almost felt physical.

Agnes missed her so much, her absence a gaping wound that she couldn't seem to mend. She wished more than anything to be with Maiko, to hold her and feel her warmth, to hear her soothing voice and gentle laughter.

But her doubts were an unrelenting barrier, a bridge that seemed impossible to cross.

Each time she thought about the love she felt for Maiko, it was overshadowed by the crushing weight of uncertainty. The doubt that gnawed at her made her feel unworthy of Maiko.

She questioned whether she was truly deserving of such love when she couldn't even trust her own feelings. Her insecurities led her to believe that Maiko deserved someone who was certain, someone who could give their heart fully and without hesitation, not someone like her who was lost in self-doubt.

Agnes felt as if she were betraying Maiko by pushing her away. Maiko deserved someone who could stand beside her, someone who could face love without the fog of confusion clouding their heart.

Agnes' insecurities felt like a dark cloud that suffocated any chance of true happiness for both of them. She was convinced that distancing herself was the only way to protect Maiko from the uncertainties within her.