willow; jake seresin

chapter 5

The first training went... fine.

Not that Willow did much. Maverick had gotten both teams out before she could even do much. They were on the ground and she could suddenly breathe again.

A year ago, she would've claimed she didn't know what breathing truly felt like until she was in the air. But today, her lungs seemed to shut down at the mere thought of being in the air.

Now, she sat in the corner of the common room, away from everyone else as she focused on bringing her mind away from dark places.

Only when she was called again did she fall from her trance, landing hard in reality.

That's how she found herself up in the air again, Coyote a wingman to the pair.

She breathed deep as the pair conversed, waiting for Maverick to make his appearance. And he did, not even a second later, coming from their nose and soaring straight between them.

Willow gasped and threw an arm out as Jake steered them to the side, heading straight after Maverick.

"Coyote, I'm on his tail. Going for missile lock." Jake said, trying to keep up with Mavericks' hard twists and turns.

"You're definitely good." Maverick muttered, yanking on the yoke and getting away from Hangman's lock.

"Shit." Jake muttered, searching desperately for where he had lost Maverick in the clouds. "Siren, where's he at?" He shouted.

Willow looked at the radar, vision blurring and images of flames and blood flashing. "Um-" She tried, chest constricting. Her heart beat rapidly in time with the explosions in her head.

"C'mon, Siren! Where is he?" Jake pushed further, frustrated.

"He's-" Her gasps for air caught his attention.

"Siren? You with me?" Jake shouted, grip on the yoke tightening.

"I don't-" Explosion.

It's all she could hear, consuming her senses. Jake's concerned shouts faded away.

She was trapped in her head. Surrounded.

Roaring of explosions.

Terrified screams of her team.

Rush of air.

Tearing of flesh.

Angry shouts of Russian.

Rough arms.

Water filling her lungs.

Jake's screams and pleads.

Torture.

Torture.

Tor-

"Willow!" Her dad's voice echoed in the distance.
She was sobbing. She knew it. She couldn't feel the tears streaming down her cheeks.

Only the blood of the past.

"You're not there!" Jake shouts, trying to break through.

But she was.

She was right back there.

Her head pounded and ribs cracked under the rapid beats of her heart. Her world was crumbling down and she was unsure how to stop it.

"You're with me."

"You're with me!"

The Jake of past and present spoke but she couldn't pick apart who was who.

Everything blended together until all that was left was pain.

And like a splash of cold water, her eyes snapped open.

Except she was no longer in the jet, she was on the heat of the tarmac. Worried eyes were on her from all angles.

It burned her skin as an oxygen mask was pressed to her face. Air rushed into her lungs and her brain went radio silent.

The memories retreated and left her to clean up their mess.

She bowed her head, avoiding the fearful gaze of her father and the understanding gaze of Jake. She felt Javy's touch on her shoulder, his words soothing and tone gentle.

She crashed in the world where her cuts had blurred to scars and her tortured heart was just as fragile.

Teary brown eyes lifted and locked with the green ones that were imprinted in her screwed brain.

Jake knelt down, laying a hand on her knee.

But it fell when a nurse helped her up, arm wrapped around her and holding her steady as he helped her walk away. Through her haze, she remembered looking back and seeing their concerned gaze following her. She also noticed the bloodied figures of past ghosts standing behind them, looking at her in disappointment.

She deserves to be standing there with them. But she was here, letting everybody down once again.

She stumbled through the halls, feeling like an outsider in her own body, an observer of her life.

She watched as the nurse walked right past the common room where the group had squeezed in the doorway. Everyone had looked away upon being a victim of her gaze but Bradley didn't. A frown tugged his lips down.

Willow's eyes stayed on his torn ones even as she passed.

Even through the worry, she could see the betrayal she had deposited in his eyes.

She had screwed everything up. Ruined everything good in her life. All because she had lived.

If only she had died in the accident, everything would be okay.

Jake would be unburdened.

Bradley and Jake would still be friends.

Her father wouldn't have to live with the mistake of her.
This team would be perfect.

But now she was failing them, fulfilling the prophecy cursing her.

And it was confirmed when she sat on the floor of her kitchen and stared at the text on her screen. It lit up the kitchen that was consumed by darkness.

Icee: Cyclone's trying to remove you from the team. I won't let that happen.

She had already assumed he would when he sent her home. It was for the better anyway.

She had rushed inside her house, collapsing on the floor of her kitchen.

Little Mav: Let him. I'm no good anyways.

She saw the three bubbles appear before they disappeared.

A sob tore through her just as they appeared again.

Icee: Come over.

Icee: Now.

Willow stared at the screen before shutting her phone and burying her head between her knees. She could easily ignore the message but Ice would just as easily drag her there himself.

She wiped her tears away furiously as she stood up, headed towards a conversation she didn't wanna have.