South Park One Shots

SUPER confusion pt.3 - Bunny (N/A)

I'm gonna try not to switch as much for this one

Butters' POV

After my minion had knocked out Mysterion, he began to unmask him. I held my hand up, "Stop. I'd like to have some fun with him first. Just load him up in the truck. Make sure he can't get out. Understood?" The minion nodded. I smiled to myself as I followed him to the truck. I meet my five other goons there.

"We have Mysterion. But I didn't come here just to capture some hero. We still need to wait until the rest of the 'Freedom Pals' get here," my voice is commanding. I love this feeling. Everything, everyone here, was under my control.

After about 30 minutes, the clock hit three PM. In all honesty, I was pissed off. Where were they? That's when I saw it. My fucking minion was over there buying cookies. Jesus. I walk over to him and take the money from his hand. "Give me the whole box of cookies, ma'am." I scowl.

"Why should I?" She asked, her lip pouted in attitude. I rolled my eyes. "Because, fat bitch," I look down at her pregnant belly, "It's not like you need it." Now, this was a bit out of character for Butters. But I'm not Butters right now. And I'm angry. The lady looked more than offended, "Look, just because you're a fully grown man playing dress up doesn't mean you can talk to me like that."

I almost laughed. "Says you." I then grabbed the whole box of cookies from where she was sitting and walked away, my minion is tow. "Boss, what was that for? You were so rude to the poor lady." I sigh at his remark. "That is NO lady, trust me. Just wait."

As I handed my minion his cookies, I saw them. Finally. "Light it up, boys." Smiling, I watch as the Freedom pals scurry around trying to stop each small explosion that happened. The people at the bake sale were screaming and the heroes were trying to get them all to safety. I yell out to them. "Ohhhh Freedom Pals! Are you missing something? You think I would come here and just plant a few tiny bombs?" I point to the large bomb in the center. But before they can do anything, the whole bake sale gets blown away by the blast.

The sales women that were there all went flying. I laughed as I watched their wigs and fake bellies fly off. They land on the ground, heavily injured. The heros and my minions were all shocked. "Did I mention that they're grown men playing dress up? Oops..."

"Well, I'll be off then, nice to see you guys. Oh, one more thing, Mysterion says hi~"

I board the large truck and my minion drives us away from the scene. The Freedom Pals watch in shock as I hold up their friend to the window, making him wave goodbye in his 'sleep'.

Kenny's POV

God... Why was everything so bright?... Every time I tried to open my eyes, light would flood into my retinas and burn. I tried to cover my eyes but my wrists were bound in chains. "What the..." I mumble, trying to turn away from the burning brightness.

"Oh! You're awake~" I hear a voice coo from in front of me. I heard two cups set on a table and finally, the light was removed from my face. "Hiya Mysterion. Did you sleep well?"

My nose scrunches as I look at him, spot blurring my vision due to the light damaging them. "What the hell, Chaos, where am I?"

"Oh... Just a place I put together. I'm sorry if it's a bit messy, I didn't have time to clean up. I wasn't expecting you."

I look around the room. Cork boards full of guesses as to who I am. This was creepy. I didn't have the proper time to examine them. "Bullshit. What are you even doing... You've had me here this whole time. Just unmask me!"

"What's the fun in that, hero..?" He smiled. That sadistic smile that I loathed. It made me sick.

"Fine. What are you going to do then? Kill me again? You know that won't work..."

"You underestimate me! You know, I could—"

His watch dinged. A sigh escaped from his lips as he turned. "I have to go. I'll be back soon, hero~" With that, he left.

I needed to find a way out of here. I look around and see the cork boards again. I wonder if I'm there? I turn my body against my chains and strain to read the boards. It looked like I was there, but already crossed out. How he made that conclusion, who knows.

Back to my escape plan. There was really only one way to get out of a situation like this... I lower my head, closer to the ground. I cross my wrists and stick my head through the hole in the chain I just created and pulled. It wasn't long before my air supply was cut short and everything went black again.

Just as expected, I woke up right back in my bed.