Moving Forward

Four

Aaliyah

I nervously paced in front of Roc's door. I went to knock, but I chickened out. I was about to go back to my room when Prince came up behind me. "You can do this!" He assured me. I smiled hoping he was right. He knocked on the door, then ran off before I could chicken out.

Asshole.

"Since when do you knock on my door?" Roc asked when he saw me standing outside his door. "You usually just barge right in."

"I know..." I replied, shyly entering the room.

Roc eyed me skeptically. "You are never this quiet. Are you sick?" He joked, laughing at my tentativeness.

"I'm pregnant," I blurted, smacking my hands over my mouth when I realized what I had said.

"You're pregnant," Roc exclaimed. He buried his face in his hands. "Damn it! Aaliyah!" He angrily slammed his fist into the wall, causing me to jump.  

"You have to get rid of it," He demanded.

"What? No. I can't do that to my baby!" I retorted, waves of anger overcoming me.

He laughed. "You can't possibly want to keep it. Things are hard enough. And now you want to add a baby to it?"

"I may not be able to care for it, but someone else will," I cried, and I could feel the tears building up again. "I'm not going to kill it."

"But you know first hand what it feels like to be unwanted," he muttered.

"You take that back Roc!" I yelled, and I nearly smacked him across the face. "You know if you had a chance for a better life you would take it."

"Yeah but--"

"No buts Roc," I croaked, wiping my tears. "I'm giving it up for adoption, and that's final." 

_____

Roc sat next to me in the waiting room of the adoption agency, his lips pursed tightly. I knew he was upset that I wasn't going through with his oh-so-wonderful abortion plan, but there was no way in hell that I was going to kill my child. His hands were clenched into tight fists, and they didn't relax until our name was called by a short, fat woman.

"Hello, Mrs. August," she greeted me warmly, giving Roc a sidelong glance. "Is this the..."

Her words trailed off as she waited for me to complete her sentence. I softly explained that he was the uncle of my baby, and immediately, her posture relaxed, and she offered my brother a pat on the arm for being kind enough to "look out for me".

"I know that you've been looking over the list of potential parents that I sent you," she noted kindly, leading the two of us to her office. "And I know that you picked out one very fine young woman."