Moving Forward

Six

Roc

I slid the passenger's seat of Tasha's car, slamming the door shut behind me. The compact car shook from the force, but I ignored the shaking, instead focusing on the car parked in front of us. I could hear Tasha talking softly to me, but I couldn't listen to her.

 "Don't talk to me like that," I mumbled, clenching my fists. "Don't talk to me as if I'm some random nigga off the streets; I know you remember me, Mom."

 She paused, her fingers fluttering against the dashboard, something she used to always do when she was around my father. "I don't know what you're talking about. I just met you today, and-"

 "Don't bullshit me, bitch," I screamed. Her face fell, and I turned to look at her, feeling all of my hate for her grow stronger. "You think you can come waltzing back into our lives with your fancy ass car like you deserve to even see us again?"

 "Chresanto, I-"

 "Nah, let me talk," I commanded. "You gave us away. You stopped caring about us, and don't pull the 'I couldn't support two kids' shit on my black ass. You up here rollin' around with a Benz."

 "Baby," she grabbed my face, forcing me to look at her. By now, tears were rolling down her face and she was sobbing like someone beat her ass. "You don't understand. I had to do that."

 I shook her hands off of me. "You didn't even come back for us."

 "Honey, I wanted to; you weren't staying here when I came back," she was crying harder. "I tried to keep you safe. I tried so hard, baby. You just don't understand."

 I opened the door, leaving Tasha in the driver's seat. "You just didn't want us; I understand, OK?"

 Closing the car door, I made my way up the front steps of the building. My eyes ghosted over to Liyah, who was staring at me angrily. Unable to contain myself, I began yelling.

 "Why do you keep talking to her? She's just a bitch, aiight? We don't need her; we've made it this far by ourselves," I yelled. I shook Liyah by the shoulders, tears rolling down my face. "Just keep her out of the fuckin' picture."

 As if she could understand my frustration, she wrapped her arms around me, letting me cry on her shoulder. Her once upset demeanor changed as she murmured soothing words in my ear.

 "What's wrong, Chresanto?" she asked quietly. "What was that about?"

 "She gave us away," I admitted softly. "And now you're giving your baby to her. She doesn't deserve that baby, and she doesn't deserve to be in your life."

 Confusion evident in her face, she pulled away so that she could look me in the eyes. "Roc, what are you talking about?" she questioned me and I knew that she was debating on whether or not to call the insane asylum.

 Taking a deep breath, I pointed to the car, "That bitch is our mother, and she gave us away fourteen years ago." Aaliyah looked at the car, horrified. "Are you happy? Are you happy now that you know why I was warning you? I was trying to protect you, Liyah. Hope you have fun giving your child away to the bitch that abandoned you."

 With that, I pushed past her, storming into the house. A few of the younger kids looked up at me in awe and fear, and I walked by them, not even bothering to call out an apology when I accidently knocked one over. I was too pissed off to even give a fuck about those lil' ass kids.

 Just as I reached the stairs, I heard Aaliyah yelling after me. "Fuck you, Roc! Fuck you and her! You just don't want me to be happy."

 I turned around in shock, watching as she sprinted off the front steps. For a moment I stood there, then I sprinted towards the door nearly missing the little kids. When I yanked the door open, I screamed out Aaliyah's name. When I saw nothing except an empty sidewalk, I cursed.

 I shouldn't have let her leave.