Moving Forward

Twelve

Aaliyah

 As Prodigy walked out, I screamed loudly in frustration. Roc was immediately by my side while Prince glared at Ray. The tears were rolling down my face faster, and I heard the doctor enter the room. He greeted each of us before checking me over.

 Somewhere in those moments, everything passed in a blur. I remember them shooting me up with something, then I remember being told to push, but... everything else... just faded into blackness. The only thing I distinctly remember was seeing my baby boy. He was so beautiful. He was so so beautiful.

 I held my arms out for him, but the doctors started yelling. I don't remember what they said, I just remember Roc telling them to fix it. Ray started crying in the corner, and I looked at him, wondering why he was so sad. How could he be so sad when our little baby boy was in the room?

 "Joshua," I called out for my son, stubbornly holding out my arms. "Give me Joshua."

The doctors ignored me instead calling in nurses who were placing my baby in an incubator. They began hooking the wires up to him while one doctor quickly cut the umbilical cord. I stared in shock as my son's light brown face slowly turned purple. The nurses were yelling at each other, but I couldn't see him anymore. They were wheeling him out the room.

 Once he was gone, I looked at Roc, who was sitting in the chair beside me with a lost look on his face. His eyes were glassy, and I leaned over pressing my palm against his cheek. He glanced over at me, a lone tear rolling down his face.

 "I'm sorry," he croaked. "I'm sorry, Liyah."

 He didn't say anything else, but he started crying. My heart pounded loudly when I saw him break down, and I looked at Prince, wanting him to do something. I had never seen my brother cry; he was always the strong one. I didn't know what to do.

 "What happened?" I looked at Prince, but when he remained silent I turned to Ray. "What happened to Joshua?"

 Nobody was answering, and I started screaming, begging them to bring me my baby. It wasn't until the doctors came that I quieted down. Their faces were somber, and I looked at them in shock when they told me the news.

They even let me hold him.

 He was so still.

Why did God take him from me?