Moving Forward

Three

Aaliyah

"Are you gonna waste away like this for the rest of your life?" Roc asked, throwing a pillow at me.

 "I just don't see the point anymore," I sighed, focusing my attention back outside. It has been weeks since I have seen Ray. I'd tried calling him and texting him, but I think his number has been disconnected. I even went back to the bar we met at in search of him, but I didn't have any luck.

 "Why don't you make yourself useful?" He said, waving ten bucks in my face. "Mrs. Harris wants you to pick her up some gum from the corner store."

 I glanced up at him, rolling my eyes at his puppy dog face. "Fine," I muttered, snatching the money from him.

 "Bring me back some chips," He called after me. "And I want my damn change."

 I took the stairs two steps at a time only pausing to make sure I didn't knock over one of the younger kids. "Hey, Mr. Chang," I smiled, nodding to the Chinese man who ran the corner store.

 "Hello Aaliyah," he replied, and I giggled. The way my name sounded in his accent always made me laugh.

 I wandered down the aisles grabbing gum for Mrs. Harris and chips for Roc, then I made my way to the back to pick up some chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream for me.

 "How's Mrs. Harris?" Mr. Chang asked me when I reached the register.

 "She's good," I said making conversation with him. While he rang up my purchase, my eyes wandered around the store until a box of tampons caught my eye.

 "Tell Mrs. Harris I said Hello," Mr. Chang was saying snapping me back into focus.

 "I will," I smiled politely.

 I shoved a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth. When was the last time I had my period? Shit. My stomach began to turn, and I felt like I was going to be sick. I ran to the nearest trashcan not even caring that I dropped my ice cream. I heaved up my lunch, and then some.

I wiped my mouth, but that didn't get rid of the taste. That was weird. I made my way back up the stairs handing the gum to Mrs. Harris on the way up. I immediately ran to my calendar.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. I was six weeks late. How could I be so dumb? I tossed Roc's chips on the bed, rushing back down the steps. This can't be. Maybe I'm wrong.

________

I sat in the back stairwell, and I wanted to die. The image of that ugly little plus sign was all I could think about. I was pregnant, and Ray is the father. 

How am I going to tell Roc? How am I going to be a mother?

"There you are Liyah," Prince said, stumbling on my hiding spot. "Wait- why are you crying?"

Hearing that question made me sob even harder. He sat down next to me taking my hands in his. "You know you can tell me anything?" He wiped away my tears, and I looked away in shame. "What's wrong?"

"I'm pregnant," I whispered, and saying it out loud made me feel ten times worse. It's one thing knowing it, but actually accepting it is a whole different thing.

He wrapped his arms around me, and I buried my face in his chest. "I'm pregnant, and I don't know what to do," I cried, my voice cracking.

He was silent for a moment, but it felt like forever. "You have to tell Roc."

I pulled away from him, staring at him blankly. How could he even suggest something that awful? "No, I can't. There is no way," I gasped. I almost passed out at even the thought of telling him.

"You are going to have to tell him eventually," He added, and I knew he was right.