Fire and Aether

Chapter 52: Zuko's Lost Days (Part 2)

   Zuko woke up on Rose's chest, her arms wrapped securely around him. He cuddled up closer to her, feeling safe and comfortable in her arms. Her fingers carded through his hair, gently, as she hummed softly to herself.
   "That song...it sounds like what my mom used to sing to me when I was sad or had trouble sleeping." Zuko spoke up.
   "I know. You were singing it in your sleep. I thought it might bring you some comfort."
   Zuko's eyes filled with tears again. "Why do you care about me so much?"
   Rose stared off into space and, for a moment, Zuko thought she wasn't going to answer. "I wish I had an answer." She finally spoke. "All I can say is that I love you and always have." She giggled. "When I first met you, you know what I saw?"
   "I was a hateful person that threatened you and everyone you cared about."
   "But that's not what I saw." Rose said, quietly. "I saw someone who was hurting, someone who was broken. Helps that you're cute." She added that last part, making him chuckle.
   "I wanna tell you the rest of my story." Zuko said. "The next part is why I chose to dress like the Blue Spirit." He smirked as he added, "I know how much you like that persona of mine."
   "I know you're only saying that so I won't nag you to rest but color me intrigued." Rose said.
   "Ok so it started when I was arguing with this man."
                        * * * * *
   After the man left to prepare for the Fire Festival, Zuko lost his temper. "Go by yourself!" He told Iroh who kept going on and on about the festival. "I don't have time for stupid, peasant holidays!"
   He stormed off back to his room on the ship. Sitting down, he began to meditate when he heard a noise outside. Zuko approached the noise, only to find a masked figure before him.
   Zuko fought the figure but he got away, disappearing with a salute. At the festival, he found out that the masked figure called himself the Red Spirit. His mask was exactly like the one Zuko would later use aside from the color and he had twin swords as well.
   "He's something of a legend around here!" one woman said, ecstatically. "I probably shouldn't be saying this to an out-of-towner but Commander Kanku doesn't always make things easy for us. He hoards all the food and medicine for his soldiers, forces our boys into uniforms, and sends them off to the front."
   The man beside her continued, "But the Red Spirit helps make it all bearable. He steals supplies and leaves them on our doorsteps. He hassles the soldiers who try to come take our children away."
   "Just little things really." the woman concluded. "But it's good to know the spirits are watching out for us."
   "HE'S NOT A SPIRIT!" Zuko raged. "HE'S JUST A THIEF IN A MASK!"
   When he went to join his uncle and watched the play Iroh was so interested in, Zuko realized that one of the actors was the Red Spirit. So he confronted him.
   "Don't pretend you don't know who I am." 
   "And if I did?"
   "Return what you stole from my ship!"
   "Can't I'm afraid. I don't generally steal things without a good reason."
   "Your problems aren't my concern!"
   When the Red Spirit gazed at Zuko's face, he felt pity for him. "I think they are. Someone like Kanku probably gave you that." He gestured to Zuko's scar.
   "You don't know what you're talking about!"
   "A scar like that takes something away from you. I get it. Kanku's taken something from me...something a lot harder to replace than anything I lifted from your armory." The Red Spirit smiled. "Look, kid, I'm not a bad guy. Help me out tonight and I'll find a way to make it up to you."
   "I don't need anything from you."
   "But maybe you need something from Kanku?" He suggested. "Name's Hong Shen. C'mon we don't have a lot of time."
    He tossed Zuko a mask. Zuko sighed and agreed to help Hong Shen.  That night, they snuck in. When the time came to fight off the guards, Zuko was annoyed when Hong Shen used his swords instead of firebending.
   "That's why no one ever suspects me." He explained.
   They split up and grabbed what they each came there for. Zuko was surprised when Hong Shen brought back...a baby.
    Hong Shen explained that Zhen was his son. Kanku tried to recruit him but he refused as his wife was dead and his son needed him. For his act of disobedience, Kanku kidnapped his child from him.
   "It is the duty of all Fire Nation citizens to serve their country."
   "Maybe...but family is the most important thing. You'll understand one day when you have kids of your own." Hong Shen said. "I'd do anything for Zhen.
   "And, besides, let's say I did march off to the front lines, eh? What would I even be fighting for? This war has ruined whole generations of kids, just like you. Broken families apart. Fire Nation families.
   "It makes you wonder...what's the point of conquest when you're throwing your own people away to do it?"
   Zuko began to wonder then for the first time if his father was wrong. "Maybe but...we don't know everything. We just have to trust that my fa--that the Fire Lord knows what's best." He instinctively reached up to touch his new scar.
   "The Fire Lord should know better than to take kids like you away from their families. You shouldn't be serving on a broken down ship at some outpost no one cares about anymore. Someone your age shouldn't have a scar like that!" Hong Shen said, angrily.
   "What kind of Fire Lord lets these things happen?"
   Zuko lost his temper. "WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE FIRE NATION?! YOU'RE A THIEF AND A COWARD AND A TRAITOR!" He began firebending. "A STUPID, UNGRATEFUL COLONIST WHO DOESN'T DESERVE EVERYTHING THE FIRE LORD'S DONE FOR YOU! I SHOULD TURN YOU OVER TO COMMANDER KANKU RIGHT NOW! I SHOULD--"
   Then he saw the kid's horrified face and he fled.
                         * * * * *
   "I'm so ashamed of how I acted, how angry I got. I wanted to hurt him, to burn him for saying those things...but he was right. Family is the most important thing. I know that one day when we have children of our own...I will do everything in my power to protect them and be the father they deserve."
   Rose blushed.
                         * * * * *
   Zuko ran until he couldn't anymore. He set the forest ablaze with his firebending and screamed and cried. Iroh appeared and swept the fire away. He took Zuko back to the ship and tried to comfort him but Zuko refused.
   That night, he woke up to find something sitting on the bed next to him, with a note:
    Thank you for helping me find my son. I hope you find what you're looking for someday as well.
    It was the dual swords he would use when he became the Blue Spirit. He sat there and wept.
                          * * * * *
   Zuko was silent for a beat, remembering. Rose continued carding her fingers through his hair. "So that's what convinced you to do all of it?"
  Zuko nodded.
   "Y'know...I remember when you saved me from Zhao. I couldn't believe it was you when I removed the mask. I took you somewhere I thought you'd be safe." She smiled at the memory.
   Zuko smiled too, sitting up. "One thing I always wondered about that day. Why did you offer yourself up to me like a prize?"
   "Because I realized I was in love with you." Rose confessed, sitting up next to him. "And I hoped with all my heart that you felt the same. So I tested you."
    "And what would you have done if I had accepted your offer?"
    "You did."
    "Did what?"
    "Accept it. When you kissed me, I could feel your love. I offered myself and you accepted. Nothing more, nothing less." She stroked his scar again. "I've been yours ever since."
    "I'm glad you chose me." Zuko admitted, moving closer to her. "I can't imagine a life without you in it."
   "Well, good. Because I'm not going anywhere." She promised.
          ***SMUT WARNING****
   Their lips met in a passionate, loving kiss. The hand on his face wandered to the tie of his robe and pulled it open. One of his hands gripped her by the chin, roughly yet gently.
   His other hand grabbed her breast through her robe. She moaned softly and his lips moved down her neck, the hand on her chin moving to encircle her pretty throat.
   Rose gave him a gentle push and Zuko moved back in obedience, letting her move over top of him. She hovered just above him, her eyelids starting to flutter as she prepared herself for what was to come. Slowly, she lowered herself onto her lover.
   Zuko grabbed the tie of her robe and tugged it lose before dropping the robe all the way off. His hands wandered along her body, worshipping like he always did.
   Rose threw her head back and moaned his name. "That's it, sweetheart." Zuko urged, holding his orgasm back. "Cum for me."
   One more thrust and they came undone together. Two pairs of eyes locked onto each other, hazel and brown.
   "I told you, I'm all yours...forever."
                 **End of smut***
                      * * * * *
   "Weeks passed. Uncle acted like nothing had happened but I could feel that things were different. He didn't offer anymore advice. All we talked about was business, the ship, the crew, firebending practice. I think...maybe that it would have been easier if he'd have been angry. He smiled at me and I didn't know what to say.
    "It wasn't long before winter came."
   Rose listened quietly and only nodded as she held Zuko's head in her lap, her fingers, once again, running through his hair.
                        * * * * *
   Zuko stood, looking over a map, Iroh and the captain at either side of him. "There's a trail that leads from Ye Nu Bay up into the foothills. From there, I'll have to forge my own path through the mountains to the Eastern Air Temple itself." Zuko explained. "I'll go alone. Taking the crew along will just slow me down."
   Iroh argued, peacefully, "Perhaps I could join you, Prince Zuko. The landscape here is renowned for it's beauty."
   Zuko rolled up his map quickly. "Fine. But I won't wait up if you can't keep pace."
                          * * * * *
   "We set out at sunrise every morning." Zuko continued, his voice full of emotion. "And when the moon was out, we walked late into the night."
    "And let me guess. Iroh kept getting distracted by everything around him?"
   Zuko chuckled. "Especially the jasmine blossoms."
   Rose laughed along. "Of course."
   Again, Zuko's face became pensive. "Maybe a part of me was glad that Uncle kept slowing us down. The air was too thin for me to catch my breath. Every joint and muscle in my body ached. I'd never been so cold or so tired in my life."
   Instinctively, Zuko shivered. Rose covered him with the blanket and continued to stroke his hair, his face, and gaze into his eyes.
   "When we finally reached the Eastern Air Temple, it was completely abandoned. But I remembered what I'd read at the Fire Temple--about the hermitage Avatar Yangchen had built on the next ridge. I'd come too far already to leave without searching there as well."
    "And what did you find?"
    "Your friend...Aurora."
                       * * * * *
   Zuko stepped inside Avatar Yangchen's hermitage, only to find a woman waiting for him. She sat Indian style, meditating.
   "A generation has passed since a wayward soul came here. I knew I was needed in this place again. Even so I have to say, I never expected a firebender to be my first visitor in so long."
   "What are you doing here?"
   "As I said, many a wayward soul came to me for guidance. My name is Aurora and I am a Seer among other things. I sense you are an especially lost soul. Come." she commanded. Aurora took his hand and gasped. "Such pain for someone yet so young, such betrayal...but it can turn out for good."
   "If you're going to tell me anything, tell me about the Avatar."
   "What would you like to know? I've known every Avatar all the way from the first, Wan."
   "I want to find him."
   "Wan has been dead a long time, child."
   "Not him. The current Avatar."
   Aurora was silent a beat. "I haven't had the pleasure of meeting that one yet. I'm sorry but I can't help you find the Avatar. Is there something else I can help you with today?"
   "You're going to tell me where the Avatar is....now."
   "Afraid not, young Prince."
   With that, Aurora disappeared. Zuko looked around the mountain and exploded in anger. Aurora was somewhere far below and he chased her.
   At the explosion, Iroh, who was drinking a cup of tea, commented, "What was in those jasmine leaves?"
   "Grab her, uncle!" Zuko shouted.
   Iroh looked over and recognized his friend. "Enough, Prince Zuko!" He stopped his nephew before turning his gaze to Aurora. "Our apologies, your reverence."
   "A pleasure to see you again, mighty Dragon of the West."
   "Uncle, she knows about the Avatar!"
   "Please forgive us for the disrespect we have shown you today."
   "No apology is necessary, old friend. I am only sorry I could not be of more help. If your nephew seeks the Avatar, then he walks a difficult road indeed. Many choices await him...one will affect the world. But all will be worth it because the Avatar is indeed his destiny. He is fortunate to have you as his guide."
   She bowed to Iroh in a gesture of respect then turned and headed on her way.
   "How could you let her get away?!" Zuko raged. "She knows about the Avatar!"
   "Indeed she does."
   "Then how could you let her go?! It'll take weeks to track her again! I could've been home by spring!"
   "Zuko, enough!" Iroh said. "Aurora is an esteemed and highly respected individual. She is older than you can poasibly imagine and you disrespected her. It is behavior unbecoming of a prince and I will not stand for it."
   "But...I need help. I don't know where to look anymore. The world's just so big and I--she knows the Avatar, all of them. I was hoping she could help me."
   "Zuko," Iroh held a crying Zuko, "I understand how hard these months have been for you. You lost your family and your home in the space of a few days. You had been charged with a task men twice your age would cower from. I am sorry that I could not stand in the face of these things. I wish that I could have given you more than a crew and an old man's companionship.
   "When Lu Ten died, I felt as if my own life had ended. It took all the strength I had to wake up each morning. To get up and go out into a world in which my son no longer lived.
   "You are stronger than I have ever been, Prince Zuko. You have struggled for all the things that were given to me. I lay down before my own grief but you have fought through a wilderness unlike any I have ever had to face.
   "By now, as you stand before the life that has been handed to you, I want you to take care--of yourself and the world as you move through it. I trust that you will learn in time how to balance the strength of your will against the needs of your spirit. I trust that you will find your own path, though it may not always take the shape that you expect."
   Zuko shook. "I just--uncle, what if they're right? What if the Avatar really is gone? What if this search really is pointless? What if...what if there's no way for me to go home again?"
   He fell into his uncle's comforting embrace. "A journey of self-discovery is never pointless, Prince Zuko. However dim your path may seem and however far you may wander from it...the important thing is that you learn from all your mistakes along the way and never forget for one moment who you are or what you are struggling to be."
   They stayed there until Zuko had offered all his tears and was calm once more.
                       * * * * *
   Rose was silent. Zuko turned into her lap in time for her to pull him up and into her arms, completely. She stretched out her legs and placed his body between them, his head on her chest as she held him tight.
    "I wish I was there. I wish I could've comforted you. You've been through so much, my love, so much that you did not deserve."
   "But I'm glad I went through all of it." Zuko said. "Because it changed me for the better. I became a better person because of it. I earned my own honor. I made friends. I..." He raised his head so he could stare into her eyes. "I fell in love with the most wonderful woman in the world...one that was worth waiting for. And I can't wait to make you my wife."
   "I'll be happy to be your wife and your queen. A celebration will only strengthen the bond that is already there, one that was made real that one night in Ba Sing Se."
   He laid his head back on her chest.
                        * * * * *
   Zuko shivered as he and Iroh headed back down the mountain. "I think perhaps it is time I taught you about the breath of fire." Iroh said as he noticed.
   Zuko stopped in his tracks. "The what?"
   "I invented it myself when I was still a colonel, serving my first winter on the front. It is based on the teachings of the ancient sun warriors. They were the original firebenders from a time before we became disconnected from the source of our power.
   "Fire is a weapon but it is also the life-giving warmth of the sun. The warmth that burns inside every heart. By concentrating on that inner fire, you can control it."
   Iroh knelt down and picked up a handful of snow that he packed into a ball. Then he demonstrated by breathing the breath of fire on the snowball, causing it to immediately melt in his hands.
   "Stroke the flames and warm yourself from within, chasing away any chill of the air or of the spirit."
   Zuko listened and soon he could feel himself warming up from the inside, letting out a breath of smoke and fire.
                     * * * * *
   "I didn't know what to say to him then, standing on that mountainside so far away from my home. But I knew he had been wrong about one thing: I still had a family." Zuko said. "Time went by and I got used to the life I had been handed. Then, something happened."
    "What?"
    "I met you."