CONSUMED By The Past | 18+ (Ongoing)

CHAPTER 13

MIA

(Imagine Mia with blue eyes instead of brown in the pic above)

Ever since I saw Danté, my emotions have been in constant turmoil, and my thoughts endlessly consumed with a vision of a life together. No matter how hard I tried to suppress these shameful thoughts and focus on my duties as a nun, my heart kept on responding to the words I've always longed for him to say.

'I love you, Mia. I always have, and these past ten years without you have left me completely lost. Reflect on what we could've had if it hadn't been for that tragic night. Think about the plans we made to start a new life? Although it seemed like it would be just as friends, I always longed for more, Mia. I believe fate has brought us together.'

These words have been repeating constantly in my head like a broken record.

After ten years, I assumed my feelings for him would have been long gone, especially since I believed he was dead. But the moment I saw him, I was immediately transported back to my younger self. Aside from the shock of running into Danté, his striking looks and well-defined physique made it hard to be close to him. It was as if time had rewound, and I was once again a lovesick twenty-year-old, grappling with emotions I thought were buried. To regain composure, I had to create some distance between us, as I was unsure if I could trust myself. It was excruciating to walk away because it felt like I was losing him all over again.

The months thereafter have been incredibly challenging, filled with tough decisions and sleepless nights. No matter how many times I've thrown away his card, I always ended up retrieving it again. I've entered his number countless times, contemplating whether to call, and composed so many messages that I only deleted each time. My dedication to my vows began to waver, and I felt guilty for betraying them.

That brief encounter with Danté completely upended my life and left it in disarray. But when persistent images of him triggered intense desires, leading me to self-pleasure, I decided to confide in my superior, Sister Hannah. Strangely, she had already sensed my struggles and released me from my vows.

It has been six weeks since then, and I'm now living with a good friend, Maggie. She's a nurse at a nursing home where I volunteered, and we quickly became close friends while I was assisting her. So when I reached out to her for help in finding a job and a place to live, she eagerly extended an invitation to stay with her.

Devastated by her husband's tragic death, she welcomed my companionship and we reached an agreement. I would help with her two boys and contribute to household duties, and in return, I could live rent-free.

This arrangement was perfect for me until I could secure a job and my own place. Maggie reassured me I could stay indefinitely, but leaving the convent was meant to give me the independence to decide if a life with Danté was truly what I wanted.

Although I can reach out to him whenever I want, a heavy reluctance has settled over me these past few weeks. In the past, it always seemed like something was keeping us from being friends or running away together, as if the universe had a reason to keep us apart. Now my mind is filled with a whirlwind of confusion and a barrage of unanswered questions.

What if the odds are still against us?

Will I be enough for him?

What if things don't work out between us?

How will I cope with losing him again?

I'm starting to doubt whether leaving the convent was the right choice.

"Hey, Mia," Maggie's sweet voice rings through the lounge, pulling me from my thoughts. "What's got you thinking so hard?"

"Hey, I didn't hear you come in," I reply, evading her question as I shut my book and get off the couch.