- CASTLES CRUMBLING (A.S.) -

- 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐘-𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄 -

weepin' in a sunlight room.

"THERE WAS NOTHING you could have done," Padmè said to Regina for the millionth time that day. They were sitting in Regina's room onboard the Venator-class Star Destroyer that was enroute to Coruscant. Padmè would be dropped off there very soon, and while she was with Regina, she wanted to take some time to spend with her upset friend.

By now, the entire battalion had heard what had happened to their captain. And, though the battalion lost men on each excursion, Breaker's death had shaken every last trooper. He had been an integral part of their lives, loved by everyone no matter how reckless he could be; and he was gone, fallen to save their general.

Because of this fact, he was held up even higher than he had been before his death. He was a hero to the troopers.

He was a hero to Regina.

"There's always something I could have done, Padmè," Regina replied, shaking her head. She stared at the ground in front of her. She was seated on her bed while the senator sat across from her. The room was small and cramped, but they wanted a private place to take, somewhere Padmè could force Regina to express her feelings; the senator knew that Regina wouldn't do so otherwise. "There were a million other options I could have taken." Regina closed her eyes.

What made this all worse was that she knew she was experiencing a very anti-Jedi reaction. From as far back as she could remember, Regina had been taught that losing someone was a good thing. Those who passed had moved on; this was their destiny. There was a releasing process that was supposed to go on with Jedi; they didn't have attachments.

But Regina knew that she did.

Whether her relationship with Anakin had fueled this passion within her or it had blossomed before things with him had transpired, Regina wasn't sure. But she did know that she loved each and every one of her clones and that the loss of even one was hard. They weren't just disposable soldiers to her. They were friends, companions, confidants.

And Breaker... The clones she spent the most time with–the ones she was closest to–had been Blue and Breaker. And now Breaker was gone forever. And it was killing her, no matter how wrong she knew it to be.

But she had to let him go. She couldn't dwell on him–or his dying words–forever. Regina had refrained from telling Padmè this part of what happened. Regina herself was unsure of what exactly he had said, let alone meant, so she thought it best to keep what he had said to herself.

She released a breath, wiping her tear-stained cheeks and standing up.

Padmè looked at her with worry, slowly rising to her feet as well. "I'm better, Padmè." Regina smiled at her friend. "Thank you for listening to me."

Padmè smiled back. "Even though you're still holding back." She shot Regina a knowing look. Well, Regina had always known nothing got past the senator. But she still didn't tell Padmè. She couldn't. It would just be reopening the wound.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

The next few months were difficult for Regina. The Order, of course, found out about Breaker's death, and they required Regina to spend some time with Master Yoda when she was unassigned. However, these "therapy sessions" proved to be fruitless. Yoda didn't tell her anything she hadn't heard for the past twenty years of her life. She hid her frustration from him. She buried all feelings, only speaking of them to Anakin or Padmè.

Because she buried her emotions, she threw herself into her assignments with more fervor than before. If anything, she grew more rash, as if Breaker's death had fueled her toward a reckless streak as if to honor his memory by behaving like he did. Even so, every risk Regina took was still calculated.