Tug, turn, thud.. a lovestory

Thawed

My conference gets over around 10pm. 

I wrap up and come out with the clients to the parking lot to say goodbye and leave for the night.

They notice someone working in the parking lot in the heavy rain and gave a casual feedback "Arnav don't work your employees too hard.".. "Ye Arnav bhi na..". they shake their heads at me and leave. I was about to tell them off for patronizing me but then my eyes found the object of their sympathy. I was struck..

Shit, I had forgot about her. It was Khushi.. I check my watch and instantly feel bad. 

I stand transfixed..looked on as she navigated from pillar to post handling traffic with a withered umbrella..hardly able to stay dry under it due to the heavy showers coming in from all directions. 

A strong wind came from somewhere and she lost that temporary shelter too. 

She carried on anyway. Come whatever may, her spirit was still intact..an impeccable sense of duty. 

Now she was completely drenched, water dripping from her hair to her face, barely able to keep her eyes open due to the pouring rain. 

Her flimsy clothes are sticking to her body providing no warmth. Her petite frame was shivering in the cold rain, she is rubbing her hands to conjure some warmth in vain. 

She was a picture of pity.

My hands clench into fists, face contour in pain...feeling like the worst person in the world to be responsible for this scene.

I keep looking at her, feeling strange emotions inside..a thawing in my chest.

She gets a call, and her eyes become sad... She seems to be pleading to someone on the other side and then they hung up before she could say her piece. Fresh tears from her eyes start to mingle with the raindrops and she is too lost in her thoughts to concentrate on the traffic. I see a car coming in her direction honking in warning but she has no idea.

NO...!!

I suddenly find her in my arms, swinging her body away from the danger. The car roared past, the thunder clapped, but we stood there together, clasped in each others' arms, her head on my shoulder, her cheeks pressed into my chest..my body a shield around her. 

The rain poured on...soaking us. Rivulets of water streaming into our eyes, lips, everywhere. Neither moved.

I stayed there hugging her for what seemed like eternity.. till the throbbing in my pulse is calmed.. till my mind can register she is safe. 

Slowly she moves away..but she finds herself restrained. She looks at me and then at my hand.. which was still gripping her shoulders. When I notice it too, I let go of her at once, pushing her a bit too roughly, as if I can't believe I'm holding her. A part of me feels like it's losing control, I want to hold her, but I mustn't want to. I'm going crazy.

I can see she was instantly hurt by that small action..as if she was discarded. Myriad of questions and accusations swirl in her eyes.. why of all people am I here..why did I save her...should she be thankful that I saved her..!?

I don't have an answer. Whatever is happening is unlike anything I'd ever felt before and it has scared me, shaken me, pushed me in a corner. And I reach out to grab my anger, my familiar, steady, trusted defense. . I just snap at her instead "Parking sambhalne k liye bola tha, gaadi k aage khade hone ko nhi [I had asked you to handle parking, not to come infront of the moving car!]".

When her eyes start brimming with unshed tears, I snap again, "Ab rona mat shuru kar dena [Don't start crying now]".. Enough with the tears already, I just can't see any more tears in her eyes today.