Tug, turn, thud.. a lovestory

Enraged

Two days have passed since she slapped her resignation letter in my face, but I still can't throw her out of my mind. 

Everyone around me at office or at home have their guard up. They disperse at my arrival. I'm erupting at the slightest of things. I'm not myself. I'm feeling an anger I haven't felt before. Even after I let her go on her terms, even after everything is over, why are her thoughts stalking me still!

I try to find solace in my garden. I concentrate on one thing, solely one thing of trimming the leaves of my favorite plant, red rose. I nip the erring growths, bringing out the symmetry. It has bloomed beautifully. As soon as I feel a glimpse of satisfaction, her glowing face in the red saree fills my mind. I pick up and smash the pot on the floor. Today even my plants failed to bring me comfort.

Di walks in to check on me hearing the noise. She comments, "Ah so there is something in common between you and Khushi. Gussa [Anger]." I seethe even more.

Nani and Di had witnessed the entire tirade of Khushi when she came in to hand over her resignation. Instead of taking my side, they seemed rather impressed with her that she was able to stand up to me. Unbelievable.

And why does Di keep taking her name in front of me. She kept on asking me things which was flaring my ire even more, "Chhote, why were you punishing her. What did she do to you?"

Frustrated I turned away from her and uttered, "Pta nhi kya kiya hai Di". [I don't know what has she done Di], I didn't want to affirm her doubts that I was perturbed due to Khushi, but it just slipped out. Again.

She tries to console me, "I know you are still upset about the guest house incident. She could have lost her life and the guilt is eating you up. Million thanks to Devi Maiyya's blessings that everything is fine. But what's really bothering you is that you wanted to explain and apologize but she didn't let you."

Yes she didn't.. like the night in SheeshMehal I hadn't listened to a word she had to say. And now she refused to let me speak, accusing me with such monstrous crime.

To hell with her.

"Enough Di! Maine kabhi kissi ko safai dena zaroori nahin samjha. Mujhe uss khushi se kuch nahi kehna. Mere liye koi maine nahin rakhti." [Enough, Di! i've never thought it necessary to give explanations to anyone. I have nothing to say to that Khushi. She means nothing to me."

She still persisted and asked "Achha? Toh phir hum jab bhi Khushi ki baat kartein hain tum aise bhadak kyon jaatey ho." [Really? Then why is it that whenever we speak of khushi you get so angry... My eyes flinch at that and I'm lost. I have no words for her. 

***

It's Sunday. I feel restless with everyone scrutinizing me at home. Its better I go to office and get some work done.

I'm reading through a business proposal in my cabin when I feel a familiar breeze touch my face. No it can't be... my heartbeat start to race and I look down.

I see her cross the threshold of the office door through the sheer glass windows of my office. The watchman is with her telling that her stuff had been kept in the storage room since she didn't come to pick it up the whole week. She mumbled a small thanks to him and walked in. 

I trudge to the edge of my cabin balcony watching her.

Instead of going to the store-room I see her tread to her desk and sit down. She looks around longingly. I hear her say, "Bas Kar Khushi..Even after throwing your resignation letter on that Laad Governor's face, you are not feeling alright because your Devi Maiyya was here. There is no other reason for your restlessness. So what that Laad Governor saved you. He definitely didn't deserve a thanks because he was the one who sent you there. You did the right thing. Now everything will be alright as soon as you get back your beloved idol of Devi Maiyya."