Ice & Prejudice

Chapter 49

Ria's POV:

That was a mistake.

A huge, long, delicious mistake.

Sitting in the passenger seat as Nik drove me home, my mind was spinning with everything that had happened. The morning sunlight felt harsh, too bright against my tired eyes, as if it was trying to expose all the things I'd rather keep buried.

What had I done?

The memory of kissing Nik was still fresh, his lips on mine, his hands gripping me like he couldn't get enough. It was intense, raw, and... I couldn't deny that I'd wanted it. Every second of it. I'd let myself get lost in the moment, in him. I've never done something so reckless. What the hell was wrong with me? But now, with the cold light of day casting everything in sharp relief, regret started to seep in, heavy and suffocating.

What the hell was I thinking?

I turned to look out the window, avoiding Nik's gaze. He was chatting away, his usual cocky, arrogant self, completely oblivious to the storm brewing inside me. He didn't notice how quiet I was being, how I couldn't even muster up the energy to give him more than a few distracted nods. All I could think about was the mistake I'd made.

Kissing Nik...Nikolai... it shouldn't have happened. No matter how good it felt in the moment, no matter how much my body had responded to his, it was a mistake. A massive, stupid mistake. I could practically hear my sisters' voices in my head, warning me, reminding me of who he was. Nik was Vlad's older brother. Vlad, the guy who tried to rape me and got away with it three years ago. Vlad, who'd turned my world upside down and left me with scars that still hadn't healed. And Nik-he had been the one to testify against me, to lie for his little brother, to protect him while I was left to pick up the pieces.

I should've known better. I should've listened to the voice in my head that kept telling me to stay away from him, to say no to tutoring Nik. But instead, I let myself get swept up in whatever this was between us, let myself believe, for just a second, that maybe things could be different. In the plane...before that fiasco...we had a moment. I thought maybe we could even be friends. Good friends. That maybe, just maybe, Nik wasn't like his brother. But how could he not be? They were cut from the same cloth, two sides of the same coin, weren't they? Part of me still thought making me like him was part of some twisted and evil plan he and his brother concocted.

I felt a wave of nausea roll through me as I remembered everything I'd had to endure because of him. The court, the rumors, the way people had looked at me like I was the one who'd done something wrong. And now, here I was, tangled up in something with him, and I couldn't even explain why.

My fingers curled into fists in my lap, nails digging into my palms as I tried to push back the confusion, the anger, the hurt. Why did it have to feel so good? Why did he have to make me feel so... alive? It was all wrong. I shouldn't want him. I shouldn't be thinking about his touch, the way he made my heart race, the way he made me forget about everything else when he was near. I shouldn't be thinking about him at all.

I pressed my lips together, remembering how they'd felt swollen and tender after our makeout session in the cabin. How I'd caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, cheeks flushed, hair a mess, lips pink and full from his kisses. I'd looked... different. Like someone I didn't recognize. Someone who was stupid enough to fall for the one person she should hate more than anyone else.

As we pulled into the parking lot in front of my place, I felt like I couldn't get out of the car fast enough. Nik gave me one of his signature grins, all confident and sure of himself, and told me to call him after I'd taken a nap. He thought I was just jet-lagged.