Ice & Prejudice

Chapter 52

Ria's POV:

It's amazing how quickly attraction can turn to disdain. It feels like a switch was flipped the moment I saw through Nikolai's charming façade. It's been days since our last confrontation, and honestly, I'm done with him. I'm done with the anger, the confusion, the broken promises.

I'd been naïve, swept up by the fantasy of the "enemies to lovers" trope, thanks to all those books and movies that romanticize the most toxic of relationships. It's all bullshit. They gaslit me into thinking that maybe Nikolai could be different, that maybe he wasn't just another arrogant dick who thought he could charm his way into anyone's good graces. Well, I'm awake now, and I see him for who he really is-a manipulative, self-serving asshole with a smile that masks his true nature, just like his brother.

The way he confronted me, the way he shouted those horrible things-how could I ever forget that? The anger I felt in that moment is still burning bright, and it's a sharp contrast to the attraction I once felt. It's almost laughable to think I was ever drawn to him. The Nikolai I thought I knew was just an illusion, a mirage that vanished the moment he revealed his true colors.

I'm done pretending. I'm not avoiding him anymore because I honestly don't care if he's around or not. If I see him across the hallway with his friends and some random girls hanging off his arms, I just keep walking. I don't flinch, I don't blink. I maintain the icy eye contact that shows exactly how little I care.

When he drives by from hockey practice, I don't bother to make any detours. I walk straight, never breaking stride. The fire escape that once seemed like a necessary escape route now feels like an unnecessary complication. I'm done with it all. I'm done with him.

We don't call, we don't text, we don't acknowledge each other. It's like we've become strangers again, and that's exactly what I want. I don't care if he fails his mid-terms because I'm no longer his tutor. I don't care if he's miserable, or loses his hockey scholarship. He's nothing to me now.

Stacy and my sisters were right. They warned me, and I should have listened. Nikolai and his family are exactly what they always suspected-lying assholes, and morally bankrupt. I haven't even been talking to Layla much lately. It's not just about Nikolai; it's about the realization that I've been surrounded by people who've seen through the charade long before I did.

I should have known better. I should have trusted my instincts instead of getting caught up in the fantasy. But now, all I feel is a cold, seething resentment. Nikolai's face and those empty promises of change are like a bad taste in my mouth, one I can't get rid of no matter how hard I try.

I'm done. I'm over it. And I'm moving on. I refuse to let him drag me back into the mess he created. His charm and false promises mean nothing to me anymore. I see him for what he truly is, and that's more than enough to fuel the hatred that burns in my chest.

I don't know why I ever let myself get caught up in Nikolai's bullshit. It's almost embarrassing how I fell for the entire act. His stupid, smug grin, those piercing eyes-God, I could slap myself for thinking he was anything other than the enemy.

It's clear now, painfully so, that I let my guard down for a guy who doesn't deserve an ounce of my time, let alone my trust. I hate him. I hate how he made me doubt myself, how he waltzed into my life with that ridiculous charm and made me think, even for a second, that he was something more than the asshole I always knew him to be.

The truth is, Nikolai Wolves is nothing but a liar. And not just any liar-a damn good one. The kind that makes you forget who you are, that makes you question your own reality until you're so wrapped up in his web of deceit that you don't even recognize yourself anymore. Well, I recognize myself now. I see the idiot who got fooled, and I'm furious. I'm furious at him for being such a manipulative prick, and I'm furious at myself for not seeing through it sooner.

Who the hell does he think he is? Coming at me with that coldness, that venom, spitting out those horrible words as if he had the right to judge me, as if he knew anything about what really happened three years ago. But the worst part-the part that eats at me-is that I actually thought he might care. That maybe, just maybe, he was different. God, how could I have been so stupid?

The anger inside me is almost comforting, a familiar fire that reminds me of who I am. I don't need Nikolai Wolves. I never did. I was fine before he barged into my life with all his swagger and bravado, and I'm damn well fine now that I've kicked him out of it. I've survived worse than him, and I'll survive this too.

No more avoiding him. I'm done with that. If I see him, I stare him down with every bit of hatred I can muster. I make sure he knows that he doesn't scare me, that he doesn't have any power over me anymore. He can have his stupid friends, his shallow girls, his hockey violent victories-they mean nothing to me. They never did.

Let him see me. Let him know I don't give a damn whether he lives or dies. He's just another obstacle in my path, and I'm going to bulldoze right through him.

We don't talk. We don't text. We don't exist in each other's worlds anymore. And you know what? It's liberating. I don't care if he fails his midterms. Let him. It's not my problem. He can sink or swim on his own. I'm done saving him, done being his crutch, done being his anything..

He's nothing to me now. Just another mistake, another lesson learned. I see him for what he truly is, and it only fuels the hatred burning in my chest. I'm over it, over him, and I'm moving on. He can go to hell for all I care.

The past few days I even started getting panic attacks again, sometimes multiple times a day. As well as flashbacks and nightmares, including about what my step-uncle did to me when I was eleven. I haven't thought about that in years. And it was all coming back again, all because I decided to trust the Wolves again.

I needed to leave this place.

Thankfully, I don't spend a lot of money. Everything I earn at The Ruby usually goes into my account and I occasionally use for food and basic needs. And now, for moments like this I have enough money to fly to Oregon for the holidays. Once midterms are over, I'm going back home to my sisters for Christmas. That's the only thing I need and want right now.