Ice & Prejudice

Chapter 86

Nik's POV:

It was already November, and the cold had started to creep in, wrapping itself around the city like an unshakable chill. But inside, I was worse. More frozen than the air outside could ever make me.

Everything felt so damn numb, like I was floating through the days without really being there. The new academic year had started weeks ago, and honestly, I couldn't care less. I was barely getting through classes, barely showing up for anything that mattered. Every day felt the same. Empty. The only thing I showed up for was the bar. And even that was starting to blur into one long, endless night.

I missed her.

God, I missed Victoria so much it hurt like a fucking knife twisting in my chest. Every second without her felt like torture, a suffocating weight pressing down on me, and no amount of booze, drugs, or cheap thrills could fill the void she left behind. I thought I could live without her-that I'd get over it. But that was a joke. A bad one. The kind that keeps playing on repeat in your head until you can't laugh anymore because the punchline is that you're just fucking lost.

I'd tried everything to forget her. Every night out, every girl, every shot of whiskey, every type of drug. None of it worked. She was everywhere. I saw her in every damn thing. Driving around, I'd pass by a Starbucks and all I could think of was her sitting across from me, sipping on her iced matcha latte with that look on her face like she was plotting something. I couldn't even go to the store without seeing Reese's at the counter and remembering how she'd always sneak a pack into the cart because, as she used to say, "I can't resist them." Noah and Padma drinking black tea together like we used to. Every time I saw a cat I remember Nala, the kitten I had rescued and given to her.

During hockey practice I always looked at her spot to find it empty. When I passed her lectures I always peeked inside, because maybe, just maybe, she'd be sitting there. Her cabinet in my bathroom was still filled with her things. The extra toothbrushes she had there in case she stayed over, some rubber bands, tampons and pads, extra clothes. Everything.

Every little thing reminded me of her. My phone was even part of the problem, when I opened TikTok because she forced me to download it so she could send me TikTok's, recommending shows and songs she loved. Every time I turned on Netflix The Walking Dead would pop up. We never finished it, and after she dumped me I never wanted to see it again, not without her. It was our show. Even seeing someone reading a book at the park made me think of her, sitting in the sunlight, flipping through the pages of whatever she was obsessed with at the moment. And then even the radio became an enemy, playing songs that were ours, in a way of mocking me for losing her.

No matter what I did, no matter how much I tried to erase her, she was everywhere.

And now... she was gone.

I didn't know where she was. I didn't even know if she was still in the same country. All I knew was that she wasn't at Ivy anymore, and she wasn't in Oregon either. It was like she vanished, like the earth swallowed her whole and left me behind to rot. And the people who knew where she was? They'd never tell me. Not in a million years. They were on her side. Hell, even Layla wouldn't give me the time of day anymore. No one would tell me shit when it came to Victoria.

They were protecting her. From me. From the fucking mess I'd become.

And that killed me. More than anything. The not knowing. I could've dealt with her being around and ignoring me-hell, I was used to that now. But this... this complete erasure? It felt like she'd died, like the version of her that I loved so much just disappeared off the face of the planet.