Captain Lambda and the Empire of Evil

Chapter Nine: Death by Execution!

Our hero SPACE CAPTAIN LAMBDA has been captured by the evil EMPEROR ANIACAL and is set to face EXECUTION! The sinister DIRECTOR NEFAR prepares him for his fate. Separated from his friends in the GLOBAL LIBERATION FRONT, can Lambda escape CERTAIN DOOM?

FEATURING: Space Captain Lambda, hero of the resistance; Domina, leader of the rebel Leatherones; Uwuna, leader of the Gremlins; Princes Bussi, Achil and Dorth of the Three Kingdoms; Ursona, a furry outlander with a giant fox-like pet; and an old friend.

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"You depraved people say you can't have too much of a good thing? Well, I intend to check you on that," Director Nefar announced as Space Captain Lambda, back in his tuxedo, was marched into the vast royal throne room; replete with statues of the emperor. In the centre of the room was a large cyclical machine a little bigger than a person with an opening at one end.

"Placed in here," she spoke through a menacing grin, "you will experience such blissful agony. It stimulates every nerve ending with so much ecstasy that the moment you orgasm, the sensation will burn out your cerebral cortex. Soon, you won't remember anything. Your real name, your mission, your friends, you won't even remember that you're dying. It will be death by-"

"-by-orgasm." Lambda interrupted. "It's been done."

"What?"

"A death-by orgasm machine. It's been done. Several times actually. It's public domain now so you'll never secure a patent. Please tell me you didn't call it the 'orgasmatron' did you?"

"I-"

"Besides, they proved rather ineffective. The last time I was in one I just thought about deeply unsexy things like the exploitation of workers, compulsory heterosexuality, fossil fuels... But I still got a nice buzz out of it."

Lambda glanced at some of the wiring along the side, "Ah, you see you don't have enough power to the equalisers here. You'll burn out the stimulators before they reach full power. I can help with your wiring if you'd like. I don't want it cutting out before the climax."

Nefar looked like she was sucking a lemon, glaring at Lambda as he demonstrated how to improve the programming to the guards for a better warm-up. They lent over Lambda's shoulder with great interest at the potential of the pleasure device.

"FINE!" she snapped, throwing her arms in the air. "I guess I'll just shoot you then! Guards, bring me a firing squad!"

I probably should have kept quiet, thought Lambda. However, he still wanted to see if he could improve the sensory connectivity in the device. It wasn't far off from being a good sex toy...

The grand doors to the chamber flung open and Emperor Aniacal marched into the chamber flanked by his guards. Nefar and her bowed as he approached.

"Are you prepared for the execution, Nefar?"

"Almost, Your Majesty. I am just going to assemble a firing squad."

"I thought we were using your, what was it, Orgasmatron." he waved limply at the device.

"Actually, there is a technical hitch. We're just going to shoot him," Nefar replied nervously.

"You promised me a sexy execution. We put it in the announcement!"

"I know, but you know what is even better?" she said in a cooing, gentle voice. "A bloody execution. Right? You get to see them bleed. Isn't that fun, Your Majesty?"

"Hmm, I suppose. But I don't want the guards. Use my Atomic Ray. It's big. It'll look impressive." He pointed over to the windows overlooking the city where a tarpaulin covered a bulky piece of equipment.