Life After Suicide: A True Story

The Day She Called

That day I remember so clearly. I stayed up later that previous night playing Call of Duty with the guys. It was about 1pm when I woke up to a phone call from your mom. Not usual but last time it was your son calling to show me his new hair cut. So I answered, I missed him and was kinda hoping it was him. She was frantically talking, wind blowing as she had the windows down. I couldn't make out what she was saying so I asked her to repeat it, she rolled up her windows and took a small breath in and collected herself. The thing is your mom never calls me, not even when we were teenagers and up to no good.
She frantically told me you had a seizure, I froze and said what as she said it again. You weren't new to getting sick, but you've never had one before. I asked a few questions and got very few answers, I asked if you were in town at our hospital and if you'd be allowed visitors. She told me what hospital you were at and that she was on her way and that at the moment she wasnt sure what this was- I said please be careful getting there and we said goodbye and hung up. I clung to my phone waiting and waiting. I told my partners you were in the hospital because of a seizure, they were concerned but knew you were in good hands. They told me repeatedly to go on about my day and don't stress it. So I went about my day, phone volume up any messenger ding I looked didn't matter what I was doing. I was worried and thanks to growing up around them and my husband having seizures I know a bit about them and what medication is good for them and all that but I also knew that if they got there too late into the seizure it could be deadly.
I wasn't expecting it to be this, I thought you'd be home in a few days and we'd take the kids to the park the following Sunday.  You know our routine? The park, getting drinks, and then going to the other park to our hill. I didn't expect this. This isn't what I was thinking was going to happen.
I decided to play my video games to ease my mind. Talked with my friends on the game about you, they said you'd be fine as we loaded into a lobby. I believed them because I also figured you'd be fine. I knew I wasn't going to get blow by blow updates and that your mom couldn't handle me asking right now about you so I waited for her to be able to do the updates at her pace. She needed to be with you more than I needed to know.
Call of Duty was my escape from this morning. I died many times looking at my phone waiting for information on your well-being.
The day drew on and I finally got word that you were going in for some testing to see what is going on. I'm okay at this point. It hasn't set in yet that you were in danger and I was about to be without my best friend.
I managed some laughs that day too. I even made some new friends on the game too, we all played for a good few hours, but one by one, everyone started leaving the lobby- it was late.
I texted your mom and asked how you were. She said she'd call in a few moments as they were going over the stuff they found at the scene of the seizure.