TW- for SUICIDE. Please do not read if you are not in the right headspace for this.
How does one cope with death?
Drugs? Crying? Alcohol? All three?
I don't really know. I've loss my mom and it sucked, but this one hits harder. This was my best fri...
*This is the photo I took leaving the hospital after saying goodbye to you*
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I walked out of your room in tears, holding my nieces hand. I reached for the door and walked out with an empty feeling. I felt like something died with me. I felt so empty and broken leaving you there. I know your mom was there and she was there everyday since you went into the ICU. So you weren't alone, I'm greatful for that. We grabbed our stuff from the waiting room, and walked back the way we came. Saw your mom with your sister in law and brother. I gave her the biggest hug ever and we shared a few tears. I looked your brother and was like I know you don't like me but please take care of yourself and hugs him tightly. I looked a his wife with a smile and gave her a hug too. So many families are charged that day. From yours to mine to the others you touched from being an organ donor.. We walked out of the hospital in silence. Drove back the way we came in silence. I wanted from break the silence but I was just trying to not break myself again. Looking at the map, 15 minutes to my house, I spoke up. Me - what was her room number again? Neice- huh? Me- lizard, what was her ICU room number again? Here- um 22something. Me- I looked at her, her room number is basically the phone code I've had for the past 8 years. Her- wait really. Me- yeah out of all the numbers in the world 1022 is my phone code and 2210 was her room number. We laughed about it and even joked that I'll never forget her room number. I definitely won't. We finally reach my house and we walk inside from the hot summer air to nice AC and my husband thanks my niece a dozen times for taking me. He's still recovering from surgery and was sick and didn't want to risk her catching anything and not being able to donate organs or anything. Which I don't know if that's how it works or not but still sweet nonetheless. We all talk for a while, we had been out of the house since about 12:30 and we got back to my house around 5:30 so if my neice wanted to make it home before dark she needed to leave. That's where we are, right now, in life.
