TW- for SUICIDE. Please do not read if you are not in the right headspace for this.
How does one cope with death?
Drugs? Crying? Alcohol? All three?
I don't really know. I've loss my mom and it sucked, but this one hits harder. This was my best fri...
*I've included the Snapchat I took on the way to see her*
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I texted my niece and asked her when she was gonna be here she sent me a photo saying she was bout 30 minutes out. I got dressed, my Mickey Mouse hoodie and sweat pants were what I had been wearing since the call you were gone. I hadn't changed and I didn't want to. So I didn't. My niece showed up and I met her outside. She gave me a hug and we shared stories of you. We said goodbye to my husband and I texted my girlfriend telling her I was heading out of town to go see you. We got in the car, honestly was a nice little rental car, she started it up and we were off. First in silence, and then we started talking about random things, then silence again. Silence was peaceful. Not being asked thousands of times if I was okay was a nice change. She knew I wasn't and I knew I wasn't but it was nice to not be asked. Of course, in the Midwest fasipn we absolutely had to call out what animals we saw in the farms off the side of the road, it was mainly donkeys- I still remember your neighbors who had a llama in their backyard at Omi's house. We laughed a lot but as we got closer and closer my chest got heavy and I got scared. Can I do this? Can I really see you like this? Am I strong enough to see you like this? All those faded as my niece held my hand and smiled. Whether I can or not, I had to do this. You are my best friend and I couldn't just leave you without saying goodbye, I couldn't. We hit road construction, of course, and had to make a small detour so the trip got longer. We got lost a bit and had to do a u-turn but we were still on track. I checked your mom's Facebook again because I didn't know who was going to be there. Your mom posted she was sorry for everyone that was there as she had to do paper work for work and would be an hour out. We arrived and she was still 30 mins out. We walked into the hospital- the reception desk told us to go to the cafeteria and that they would tell your mom we were there. My niece and I walked down the hallway to the cafeteria, stopped and got drinks there. $10 for a typical $6 drink at a gas station. We laughed about the prices and sat down for a bit. Then she said she needed to use the bathroom so on the hunt for the bathroom we went. Walked a bit more down the hallway and saw a piano playing itself, weird as hell to us both. Found the bathroom and then checked out the gift shop. Was going to buy you some headphones, I know you didn't need them but I know you with your music and your true crime podcasts. There wasn't a day where you didn't have headphones in. When we first met on the bus, you had headphones in and so did I.
