Acceptance

Where it all started pt2

Pi is depressed
He doesn't know what he's dealing with
He's afraid
He's lost
Every time he tries to step out of his comfort zone he starts to tremble
It wasn't just a bad month or a cold winter it's a chemical imbalance in his brain
He doesn't wanna be here anymore
He feels like he's
Too much but not enough
Too quiet but too loud
Too reserved but too intense
He's feels like it's never safe to be who he is.

Another draining day
Pi wished he didn't wake up he's too drained to move physically and mentally

He just

Feels empty.

Depression isn't always about being sad all the time
It's not always about crying and being in your room all the time.
When your depression gets really bad you don't feel anything you just completely empty inside
Nothing excites you anymore
You don't care about anything
You don't feel interested in things that once brought you joy and happiness
You just feel like an empty vessel devoid of any purpose
You feel like nothing.

That's exactly what happened to pi
It got so bad to the point he couldn't even walk straight.
He takes a deep breath to remind his self
"He's alive"
He is hurting he is lost but
"He's alive"
His trauma did not make him stronger
"It made him fragile"

He hardly got up from bed and dressed up to school
He didn't eat for weeks
He's pale
He looks like a skeleton that can walk
His cheekbones got more defined
It looks strange oh him

He looks at his reflection in the mirror
He saw his flaws
All the things that made him different
A reflection of his insecurities
He looks miserable
No.
He IS miserable

He sighed and walked to school
Feeling nothing
Once he always had fear and anxiety before entering school
Now.
He's just walking with no feelings
He didn't care about the looks of Pity he had been getting.
He just wanted this to end
This misery to end .

In class
He didn't focus
He was just lost
He snapped out of his head when he heard the bell ring
Finally school is over today
He packed his things and was walking to the school gates he was gonna leave until he was stopped by his bullies but this time it was different

Bully1: let's beat him up
Bully2: I don't think it's a good idea look at him he looks miserable
Bully3: I agree let's spare him this time
Bully1: ugh fine don't get too happy nerd we will come for you next time.

Then they left him
Pi was confused
"Do I look this miserable and pitiful..."
He walked to his house
His legs barely supported him
He finally reached home and fell on to his bed
He isn't here anymore mentally
He thought about what happened with his bullies today it confused him

"Why weren't they happy to see me this miserable?"
Pi couldn't help but question that.

It's just a bad day
A bad week
And then suddenly broken and weak

Pi then drifted to dream land
He didn't wanna wake up anymore

After a while pi's mother entered the room only to see pi in a miserable state she screamed in fear trying to wake pi up
His heartbeats were slow
They called an ambulance and were now in the hospital
The doctor informed them that pi hasn't been eating for a month and is in a miserable state and needs to be in the hospital for atleast a week and won't wake up untill 2 days

His parents and duaen heart dropped hearing that
Their precious pi
Who once was smiley and cheerful was now in a really bad condition
And they never noticed.

In that week Duaen and pi's parents took care of him after pi woke up his physical condition was much better he gained some weight back because of the medicine and the wires were attached to his body to support him
He looked pitiful
After he was discharged he also skipped the next week of school as he's still in a miserable state
He still had his intravenous therapy attached to his hands.

Unfortunately after 2 weeks he has to go back to school
The IV drip scar was still in his hand and it was obvious he was hospitalized because of it and the school uniform didn't help hide it either it's a short sleeved shirt and shorts.
Everyone wanted to know what's happened to him
Because it was obvious he's not okay but no one dared to talk to him.
Pi was still mentally lost
He started losing himself
Piece by piece
He was slowly disappearing
After school he got home and went to his drawers

(MENTION OF SELF HARM!!)

He took out his blade and stared at it for a while
He then slowly started drawing lines with the blade in the back of his arm but it wasn't enough even when his hand was dripping blood constantly he then putted the blade back to the drawer and stared at his hand
What have he become into ?

His hand was sore from the pain

He went to the toilet and washed it then putted a bandage
He cleaned the mess he made and took a painkiller then slept.

(Next part will be Mork finally entering the story ☺️ sorry for not uploading this earlier I took a small break before finishing this because it gave me flashback 😭 anyway hope u enjoy the story🩷)