Maroon

Las Vegas

Max

28/10

"They know."

I winced, as if the words had physically cut their way through my bloody and aching throat.

"I'm sorry." He shook his head, tears in his eyes as he pulled me to the elevator. Silently.

But it wasn't the kind of silence that gave us both a feeling of security. This one was cold. And for a moment, I thought that this was it. It was over. I had lost him.

I lost Charles. I lost the love of my life.

But when the metal doors closed, he shut his eyes and his lips collided with mine.

With force at first, but then with a gentleness that wouldn't even move a cloud. Softly claiming me as his as we made our way up.

"I love you." It was whispered, but it was real. It was pained, but we both knew it was worth it.

"I love you too."

On that night we stayed in.

On that night we didn't talk about it.

On that night I didn't lose him.

On that night I loved him.

And it's in bed that he turned to me, with a small smile. But I couldn't breathe.

Shit.

I can't breathe.

I mean I could, but it felt like something was on my chest; weighing me down, down, down, until I drowned.

I never thought it would hurt so greatly to be tortured by people I didn't even know.

Phantoms of our wounds still lied on our skins, the ghostly feeling of our tears as they soaked our blood stained arms... It was all still there.

I could feel it all again because of them. Because they stapled us to the wall and invaded us with pins, just to bleed the truth out of us. As they looked into our lives and finally saw what we were all along.

I can't breathe.

The pressure on my chest turned me into an arsonist, and I needed to feel the words on all of those newly published papers ignite and then burn to ashes. I felt them steal my sympathy like larcenists. It almost didn't make sense.

I could feel their quiet resentment towards a secret no one kept. And the silent lies in that article choked our truths out of the way.

And I can't breathe.

"They are pulling me under the fucking water. And I know your hand is right there, waiting for me to take it to pull me up, but I can't reach it!"

He stared at me as I could feel the rivers of pain threaten to fall out of my eyes, a migraine making itself known by forcing my eyelids to shut from the pain. A torent of torment was battling with my sanity in my rapidly beating heart. I wasn't sure that I could handle any more, and just as my phone vibrated; probably another notification from that stupid article, I exhaled.

"Talk to me, Charles. I love you, but right now I need you to talk to me so I can grab your hand... Please..."

Battling with demons, begging to someone I couldn't lose, scared of people I never saw...

I never thought I'd be here.

The raging beat in my ribcage stopped just as suddenly as it had started and Charles took my hand, lacing our fingers together as his gaze met mine again.