When You're Gone

3 - why I felt such things

I didn't know what it was that made me so giddy every time I see you post a picture with your face in it, or when you posted about your hobby, or pursuing your goals.

Before that, I don't even know what it was.

I'm thankful enough that you helped me score high in science, math, and german, you were so good at making revision in such an efficient and informative way, it really helped me push through. You put your time to help me with my brain that processes slower than others.

We both love badminton, but you play it 10x better than I do. I love it because I've played it for years. You love it because it challenges you to compete with others. And I've payed attention, not in class, but with every word you've said to me, and what you like to show me. I wouldn't imagine playing a match with you, as I'd lose immediately.

So the question is, would it still be fun with to play a match with me me if we played it slow? Just for the rally? No winning or losing? Will you have the patience to play by my abilities?

We're far away, at least by 12cm. I'm average for my height, and so are you.

I'm an artist that can draw people without needing a tutorial. You're an artist that is learning and you took the effort to draw me for my birthday.

And not only that, but it was an amazingly beautiful one. Something I'd keep and admire in my room every once in a while. I didn't have this in mind before, but now I do. I think you're someone that I'll never forget.

If there was a universe where I could pursue you, and have you all to me, I'd think of the millions of chances that we could have met in the same place at the same time. And from every moment that I've seen, there were none. At least in school, if we had decided to meet up.

People think I'm crazy for saying this, but if we both believed that there was another series of chances that we could meet years into the future, then we would be classified as soulmates, since that hope of meeting each other again lights up our soul to look for each other?

However, in the worst case of scenarios, I don't even know if my parents would approve of you...