When You're Gone

2 - how I knew

To my future children,

I'd like to tell you about a boy, sweet and thoughtful. Tall, with the cutest smile. Intelligent, and flexible.

I wish I could have hidden my feelings better, and it was only now that I realised I had fallen deep. I liked him first, but what shocked me was how he went out of his way to show he liked me back.

_time machine_

It was the last day of middleschool. It was fairly empty, with students wandering class after class, not eyeing the clock that keeps ticking. I, in particular, was too distracted with my own despair knowing I was leaving the school.

It was one of those moments that captured the essence of a somewhat, magical scene in a 2000s film where at the end of the film the characters are enjoying each other's company with excitement knowing nothing else will bother their happiness.

At the time, there was a girl in my class. We weren't that close, and there were indeed some times that I was annoyed by her, but she always tried to resist her chattiness by listening to my stories before diving into hers. And she always loved hearing about my crush stories. Although the worst part would probably be how she made her way to stalk my crush every chance she had, to know if he was starting to like me.

There were numerous people who disliked her, however I believed that she indeed had good intentions and helped with my confidence. Her weirdness and bravery to be weird in a world where everyone tries to fit in is admirable, and it reminded me of my elementary days, where I was one of those weird kids with little friends, but I enjoyed myself. And thats okay.

For the last day of middleschool, the night before I was sent a message by my crush's best friend, saying that mr crush wanted to give me something before I leave school.

At that point, I couldn't sleep. It was all scattering in my head, thoughts of what he could be bringing, if he knew what I like, if he was just bringing one thing or more? The thought made my lips unable to stay shut, and my crooked tooth made my inner cheek hurt from smiling.

As the day had arrived, I was completely blinded by the conversations I had with my classmate. When I had finally remembered mr crush who was going to give me something, I realised that my wingman had disappeared, or really, she wasn't even in the class.

As I peered at the clock, my eyes widened. It was 14:50. I'm ten minutes late.

The next thing you know, I sprint to the boys side of the school building with my friend along, and as we rushed down the stairs, I find mr crush standing still and my wingman beside him. They turn their heads towards me.

"Hey y/n! You're finally here! You're late, you know that?" Teases wingman friend.

I looked over my shoulder, seeing my friend who ran with me on the top of the stairs, eyeing me down, not wanting to disturb the moment.

Then I turned my head to him, who held a plastic bag. He quickly passes it to me, "Um, I kind of have to go now. Here you go, hope you like it."

This was the time. I quickly reached for my pocket. "O-oh wait, I have something for you too."

My hand passes him a letter, carefully made, a long letter that is glued inside an origami fortune teller. With an icebear drawing on the back.

We said our goodbyes, and it was rather awkward. Fortunately, me and my girlfriends went to hang out at the nearest mall to talk about what just happened. Even though the interaction with him was short, my heart was beating rapidly the whole day.

It turns out he had placed chocolate, toys, and a phone holder, with a note in the gift bag. The chocolate was of an expensive brand, and there was not one, but two bars.
The toy was a squishy, and although I'm not a big fan of them, this one was a cat that is sitting in a mug, which is adorable I can't lie. As well as a pack of legos of a manta ray, and again I'm not that big of a fan of legos, however this motivated me to build legos while I was in the other school I moved to.

The phone holder was shaped like a cloud, and I used to use it for my phone after a while, though it's now dusty and grey, unlike the bright pastel pink it was when I first put it on.

The last thing was a small blue card-paper, folded, lost in the treasure. Opening it, theres a little note saying,

"I hope you have fun in the new city.
Goodluck with school 🐻‍❄👍
Thank you for helping me out :)
sorry for goofy handwriting..

Goodbye (name)
We will all miss ya.."

From there, I just thought to myself. This was one of those that made me believe that I had something. That I am a somebody. From suffering a heavy heartbreak, to a surprise beginning, or end. We'd never know.