Anarchy across the spider-verse

Moving on would be like leaving you.

❗️Sooo I was waiting for the right time to make this and since i made my filler/Au chapter before this one i think this is the perfect time. So if it wasn't obvious Dreyko has a brother, he did die(his brother is like his Uncle Ben if you know what i mean) and this chapter is about that and how Dreyko deals with it. Also this is canon to my story and this ain't a Au or filler❗️

TW: Mildly graphic death, Suicide attempt, Racism, and PTSD(I'll let you know when the death scene comes in)

Also this is the angstiest shit i've ever written and i'm proud of myself. Also don't worry our little clown boy will get closure. *bro why did i lowkey cry when i wrote this😶*

It's Dezzie and Dreykie yalll omggg🥹🥹🥹

3rd pov
Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow would be the day Dreyko shuts everyone out and would lose contact with everyone automatically. Tomorrow would be the day he reflects on decisions he deeply regrets, decisions that he blames himself for every waking moment of his life. Tomorrow will be the day he mourns someone who was his everything and he was their everything. It took him so long to even be able to walk past their room without tears threatening to spill, he couldn't even look at pictures of them without that memory go over and over in his head. It's not fair. They were supposed to do this together- they were supposed to do everything together, when they promised the other they would never be alone in anything. He'll never forget how his mother cried and screamed for them and how his father just stared in painful disbelief unable to move. And Dreyko? Dreyko held him as tight as he could hoping he could come back to him with just his love alone. But it was no use. No matter how many prayers or how many times they would blink hoping it was a dream or a nightmare- he was gone. He wasn't coming back. Dreyko felt lost. He's felt like that since then and that feeling hasn't changed but it hasn't increased neither, he's just lost. They guided eachother with everything. They played together, they laughed together, they got in trouble together, they cried together, they fought together, and they fought with eachother. They were inseparable. They were one in the same but yet they were so different. It's hard to let go of someone you shared so much with- so much so that the person you shared so much with was basically you. It was like....apart of Dreyko died. When they died Dreyko felt lighter, like a piece was cut off. He hasn't stopped feeling light since. Everyday Dreyko wonders if they hadn't died....would things be different. That same night he had ran out the house, he was breathing rapidly and he was in shock. The shock hit him and he couldn't take it and being in his room made it worse, he wanted to cry- no he wanted to scream until his throat was raw. Maybe if he screamed loud enough then he would come back to him. He was so lost that he actually believed that and so he tried- he tried and tried but he couldn't. He couldn't scream all he could was take in big gulps of air because he couldn't breathe, the reality of it all had hit me and he couldn't handle it. None of it. He isn't supposed too, he's not supposed to go through this- not now- not ever. He wasn't supposed to lose him this early. Never like that. But he did. And it's all his fault. It's his fault. If he had just stayed inside the house this would have never happened. He should have listened but he didn't. They were just supposed to play basketball, like they always did and they were supposed to get caught by Mummy and dad- he wasn't supposed to die. Tomorrow is the day he relives all of that pain, all that regret, all of that trauma. Tomorrow would mark 3 years to his death and how he still would never forget it. Today is that day.

Dreyko had woken up tense. His body automatically tenses on this day. He turns over on his back looking up at the ceiling taking in deep breaths, it was a friday and he was at his house and Hobie, Miles, and Matias weren't here. They knew what today was. They knew to give him space for today and probably days after that until he was feeling better. They never forced him to talk to them and they never forced him to talk about the day. Dreyko had turned off all lines of communication from them yesterday, the only thing on is his watch for safety reasons. His regular phone was on in case his parents called because this day was hard for them as much for him. But as much as he feels bad for thinking this, he feels as though it's worse for him. Obviously they lost a child but he lost himself. It somehow felt worse. He just didn't want to exist for this day. He wishes he could mentally skip it but he can't, he has therapy today- he always has therapy this day because this day is the hardest. They've barely had progress these last 3 years. But they keep trying...for him. So he sits up looking at his clock which read 7:30, he automatically wakes up this early on this day only. His death happened right before they were supposed to go to school, they loved playing basketball before school. They left at 7:30 because school started at 8:30. A small part of him knows he wakes up at 7:30 everytime this day was because he wanted to stop them from leaving. To tell his past self to stay in this house. But everytime he wakes up- he's still 15, 16, 17, and now 18. He stands up walking to his dresser picking out his clothes to wear for the day, he then walks to the bathroom closing the door and he starts up the water for a warm shower. He takes off his clothes as he looks at his chest. He had a tattoo there. It was his name and it was over his heart. If he could he would have his name tattoo directly on his heart. But this would have to would do. Once his clothes were off he got in the shower and began to wash his body. He scrubs his body all over and he keeps his head down, he scrubs over his chest but he doesn't scrub to hard over the tattoo. It feels like he's trying to scrub over the memory. He then scrubs his legs and feet and then he grabs his wash cloth to wash his genitals. Once that was done he rinses his body. He turns off the water and he walks out taking off his shower cap he put on and he just puts his hair in a low bun. He grabs his toothbrush and toothpaste and he starts brushing his teeth, he doesn't bother looking in the mirror. It's too much. He spits and then grabs a scoop of water and he swishes it in his mouth and he takes some mouth wash and does the same thing again spitting it out. He wipes his mouth and he walks out the bathroom turning off the lights. It was now 8:20. His appt is at 9 and the building is maybe 30 mins away so he'll get there in time, he puts on his boxers making sure his dick is comfortable and he puts on his sweatpants and he puts on his 'sad' hoodie and he grabs his male Ugg boots and he grabs his phone and keys and walks out his room closing the door. He goes to his kitchen grabbing a slim jim and he checks his phone before he goes and he sees his mummy and dad texted him. They said to tell them about how therapy goes. He replies with an okay and an i love you. He walks out his apt locking it and he walks to the elevator clicking the button. When he's on the first floor he walks out and he walks to his car unlocking it and getting in. He opens his arm rest and he rummages through it before finding a locket with his picture in it. He puts it on and he puts it under his hoodie and he starts his car driving off. He makes sure to put his hood over his head and he drives in silence, usually he would play their favorite songs to listen to when they grew up. Caribbean and American but this year felt different. It really dawned on Dreyko that he's surpassed into adult hood without him, when they were supposed to be adults together. Supposed to have their 18th birthday together even if they weren't truly twins. But they didn't. Now he's closer to 19 and 20- closer to 21...they were supposed to share their first blunt and drink together. Dreyko didn't start smoking until after he died. He uses it to cope. He smokes everytime he thinks about him which is why he smokes so much but he has to take breaks- he knows this. It's why awhile back when Dreyko and Miguel had been arguing and when Miles and Hobie went to comfort him and Miles told him no more smoking that he got mad, it's his only escape from those thoughts.—When Dreyko pulls up to the building he parks and he gets out locking is car and he walks up to it opening the door, he walks in going to the front desk "Hello Dreyko! Dr. Okoya will be with you in maybe 10 minutes." "okay. thank you Mrs. Holly." He says giving her a small smile which made her smile kind of drop because she knew what day it was off his demeanor alone. "Have a good day okay?" She says and he nods after filling out the form and he goes to sit down and wait. After 10 minutes Dreyko stands up when Dr. Okoya calls for him and they walk to her office and he sits down and she hands him they pillow he likes to hold on this day, she sits down getting her paper ready and for a min Dreyko doesn't look at her- he's honestly not looking at anything. He's just there. He's zoned out more like? But in a more dissociative way. But his eyes lift up slightly as if he realizes where he is and he looks at her. His eyes already glossy. "Hey Drey." "hey."  "How are you today?" "....sad." "You feel sad?" Since they had made a break through with him understanding his emotions more clearly, his therapist always double checks to make sure he understands and means it. Even for something as obvious as this. "yea." "Why?" "today is when dez died." "I see, tell me about him. What is he to you?" The answer never changes. It's always the same. "he was my twin. we were best friends. brothers. we went everywhere together. we grew up together. we were very reliant on eachother. he was like...my soulmate." She doesn't even bother to write it down because she already knows. "How did he die?" Dreyko slowly looks down rubbing the pillow softly and slowly.